Monday, December 10, 2007

Djimon Beats Beckham in a Head-to-Head Matchup

Has anyone ever noticed how explicit the Djimon Hounsou Calvin Klein ads are? You can practically see the veins in his giant black cock (and you can DEFINITELY see that he is circumsized). We almost found it to be a relief to see on Towleroad that the David Beckham Armani underwear ads had the "generic bugle" look going on. Sure, it probably means there's a sock in there along with the Beckham junk, but it's better than imagining what ends up inside Kimora Lee Simmons on a regular basis.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Why You Are Gay: The 'Mr. Owl' Tootsie Roll Pop Commercial

We know it's been a while since we did one of our Why You Are Gay posts, so we hope you'll bear with us. We were just thinking about that old Tootsie Roll Pop commercial, where a naked boy wanders around asking animals about how to lick a pop. We didn't realize it then, but looking back, it's no wonder we don't know how to give head to someone with a foreskin. ("Get rid of that wrapper, let me just attack that sweet stuff underneath!" (Sorry, British ex-boyfriend)). Click above to watch the commercial. First you've got the turtle with the penis head bobbing up and down, then you've got the owl with the testicle eyes. And finally, you are faced with just a row of slowly melting lollipops, which get more and more cock-like as the ad ends. Oh, yeah, and like we said, the boy in the ad IS NAKED. Genius target advertising for a young demographic with an oral fixation? Or fag propaganda? You decide.

(Also: Any time anyone ever uses teeth on your own little blow pop, now you know who to blame.)

Monday, December 03, 2007


Yes, it really has been that long.

And yes, the rooster does have a badonkadonk.

America's Most Cholesterolest Model

Ok, so Daniel may have been kicked off "America's Most Smartest Model." But he is having success in commercial campaigns! Witness this appearance in People Magazine... In a, um, Hellman's Mayonnaise ad. Go… Daniel.

Earlier: Top Model + Jeopardy =Truly Awe-Inspiring Television