Monday, December 10, 2007

Djimon Beats Beckham in a Head-to-Head Matchup

Has anyone ever noticed how explicit the Djimon Hounsou Calvin Klein ads are? You can practically see the veins in his giant black cock (and you can DEFINITELY see that he is circumsized). We almost found it to be a relief to see on Towleroad that the David Beckham Armani underwear ads had the "generic bugle" look going on. Sure, it probably means there's a sock in there along with the Beckham junk, but it's better than imagining what ends up inside Kimora Lee Simmons on a regular basis.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Why You Are Gay: The 'Mr. Owl' Tootsie Roll Pop Commercial

We know it's been a while since we did one of our Why You Are Gay posts, so we hope you'll bear with us. We were just thinking about that old Tootsie Roll Pop commercial, where a naked boy wanders around asking animals about how to lick a pop. We didn't realize it then, but looking back, it's no wonder we don't know how to give head to someone with a foreskin. ("Get rid of that wrapper, let me just attack that sweet stuff underneath!" (Sorry, British ex-boyfriend)). Click above to watch the commercial. First you've got the turtle with the penis head bobbing up and down, then you've got the owl with the testicle eyes. And finally, you are faced with just a row of slowly melting lollipops, which get more and more cock-like as the ad ends. Oh, yeah, and like we said, the boy in the ad IS NAKED. Genius target advertising for a young demographic with an oral fixation? Or fag propaganda? You decide.

(Also: Any time anyone ever uses teeth on your own little blow pop, now you know who to blame.)

Monday, December 03, 2007


Yes, it really has been that long.

And yes, the rooster does have a badonkadonk.

America's Most Cholesterolest Model

Ok, so Daniel may have been kicked off "America's Most Smartest Model." But he is having success in commercial campaigns! Witness this appearance in People Magazine... In a, um, Hellman's Mayonnaise ad. Go… Daniel.

Earlier: Top Model + Jeopardy =Truly Awe-Inspiring Television

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Investigating The Watered Down Version of Ourselves

A question to readers: Does anyone know who writes the blog "Guest of a Guest"? We were hesitant to ask, because we know the blog is desperately trying to gain notoriety and they are DYING for people to try and figure out who they are. But it is on our RSS feed and we can't help but notice that a) the authors rip off posts from other blogs and make them seem as though they are original, and b) we probably know them. They were gay enough (and Gawker-obsessed enough) to interview Kristian Laliberte and not make fun of him. They weirdly name-dropped unknown actress Francesca Cecil (our college classmate) twice. They get invited to the same small parties we do. They're obsessed with/maybe work at New York Magazine. They encourage people to go to the Head of the Charles and Princeton Lawn Parties. We're completely curious in spite of ourselves. Anyway, email us at fagats @ if you know. We're bored at the end of the day and we now work in an open office so we safely spend the last hour of work clicking through The Pretty Boys Club.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

For The Last Time, Stop Trusting Gay Hookers

Okay, so we've been watching this whole Big Head DC/Trent Lott/Gay Hooker thing unfold, and it's really making us ill. We have no idea who Big Head DC is, but they clearly don't know a thing about gay hookers. Having had to interview a few for work (really), we can tell you that a) ones who have secrets, keep them, and b) ones who don't have secrets will do anything to appear like they do. If you read the correspondence between Big Head and alleged Lott-humper Benjamin Nicholas, Nicholas is clearly playing coy with Big Head. Big Head just falls for it, and what's more, publishes correspondence that he told Nicholas was off the record. Basically, everybody looks stupid and the whole thing is completely boring and predictable. Why have we written two posts about it? Because it was either that or running naked pictures of that hot gay from Project Runway, and we figured you'd like to hear us rant about some boring political non-story than check out a reality star's junk. Right?

Monday, November 26, 2007

There's A Word for This, and It's Not "Hypocrisy"...'s "Ugh." Trent Lott has been accused of using a young gay prostitute in the District. Is anyone else really really tired of this kind of story? It's like that gross "I pooped on Larry Craig's Penis" story. Whether or not it's true, it doesn't do anybody any good, especially if Lott is retiring. Have we become old and crusty that we think that? It's just, if someone's going to be outed as gay, can't it be someone we like? And we can look up to? And who is the appropriate age to be in the closet? And doesn't hate himself? And for the love of god, can't we finally get someone who is hot??

The French Connection: FHC and FrenchBenj in NYC

Longtime Fagats readers will appreciate the crossover we are about to experience this weekend. Our blog BFF FHC will be in town this weekend to visit, arriving on Thursday night. Also in town will be our blog friend-with-benefits, FrenchBenj. Though the two hail from the same country and have traded barbs online for years now, they have never met in person. And yet, it just might be the case that they will be in the same place at the same time this week. Which raises the obvious questions: Where should this meeting take place (it's Thursday night, so Pop Rocks? Vlada? The corner of Avenue A and 13th Street?)? Who should be present (LL? TAHF? Bigmouth?)? How drunk should everybody be (a little? A lot? French?)? What should we wear?

And most importantly, where should we plan the afterparty?