Investigating The Watered Down Version of Ourselves

A question to readers: Does anyone know who writes the blog "Guest of a Guest"? We were hesitant to ask, because we know the blog is desperately trying to gain notoriety and they are DYING for people to try and figure out who they are. But it is on our RSS feed and we can't help but notice that a) the authors rip off posts from other blogs and make them seem as though they are original, and b) we probably know them. They were gay enough (and Gawker-obsessed enough) to interview Kristian Laliberte and not make fun of him. They weirdly name-dropped unknown actress Francesca Cecil (our college classmate) twice. They get invited to the same small parties we do. They're obsessed with/maybe work at New York Magazine. They encourage people to go to the Head of the Charles and Princeton Lawn Parties. We're completely curious in spite of ourselves. Anyway, email us at fagats @ gmail.com if you know. We're bored at the end of the day and we now work in an open office so we safely spend the last hour of work clicking through The Pretty Boys Club.

For The Last Time, Stop Trusting Gay Hookers

Okay, so we've been watching this whole Big Head DC/Trent Lott/Gay Hooker thing unfold, and it's really making us ill. We have no idea who Big Head DC is, but they clearly don't know a thing about gay hookers. Having had to interview a few for work (really), we can tell you that a) ones who have secrets, keep them, and b) ones who don't have secrets will do anything to appear like they do. If you read the correspondence between Big Head and alleged Lott-humper Benjamin Nicholas, Nicholas is clearly playing coy with Big Head. Big Head just falls for it, and what's more, publishes correspondence that he told Nicholas was off the record. Basically, everybody looks stupid and the whole thing is completely boring and predictable. Why have we written two posts about it? Because it was either that or running naked pictures of that hot gay from Project Runway, and we figured you'd like to hear us rant about some boring political non-story than check out a reality star's junk. Right?

There's A Word for This, and It's Not "Hypocrisy"...

...it's "Ugh." Trent Lott has been accused of using a young gay prostitute in the District. Is anyone else really really tired of this kind of story? It's like that gross "I pooped on Larry Craig's Penis" story. Whether or not it's true, it doesn't do anybody any good, especially if Lott is retiring. Have we become old and crusty that we think that? It's just, if someone's going to be outed as gay, can't it be someone we like? And we can look up to? And who is the appropriate age to be in the closet? And doesn't hate himself? And for the love of god, can't we finally get someone who is hot??

The French Connection: FHC and FrenchBenj in NYC

Longtime Fagats readers will appreciate the crossover we are about to experience this weekend. Our blog BFF FHC will be in town this weekend to visit, arriving on Thursday night. Also in town will be our blog friend-with-benefits, FrenchBenj. Though the two hail from the same country and have traded barbs online for years now, they have never met in person. And yet, it just might be the case that they will be in the same place at the same time this week. Which raises the obvious questions: Where should this meeting take place (it's Thursday night, so Pop Rocks? Vlada? The corner of Avenue A and 13th Street?)? Who should be present (LL? TAHF? Bigmouth?)? How drunk should everybody be (a little? A lot? French?)? What should we wear?

And most importantly, where should we plan the afterparty?

Bill O'Reilly Thinks Gay Couples Can't Be "Cute"

We have to say, we normally find it very frustrating to watch guests on "The O'Reilly Factor" talk about gay issues because advocates so easily get flustered and angry, and O'Reilly has a way of preventing them from getting decent points across. But in the above clip, a Northwestern psychologist does very well against O'Reilly, pointing out when he tries to dress his subtle bigotry up as "common sense." We're pretty sure if we went on the show, it would turn into an episode of "Jerry Springer" in a hot second.

Thanks to Andy for the clip.

Casual Gayness Hits the Times

Did anybody notice, buried within a story about teeth-grinding (which we are embarrassed to say we were profoundly interested by), this section?

During sleep bruxism, [a doctor] explained, the upper and lower teeth may come into direct contact as much as 40 minutes per hour, and — for example, on the first molar — with a force of about 250 pounds. Hence the football player. Compare that with normal circumstances, when a person’s teeth make contact for about 20 minutes a day, while chewing, and with only 20 to 40 pounds of pressure. Even if I wanted a football player in my bed, I certainly wouldn’t want him standing on my teeth. I became aware of his presence the way that many bruxers do. My then-boyfriend told me I woke him up with a dreadful crunching noise that came from grinding.

Emphasis added. The article is titled "A Lineman in My Bed."

Um… Since when is the Times so casual about its writers being so faggy? It's great! Like, the gayness of the author is an unquestioned premise of the story – like how the gay characters on Desperate Housewives don't have any plotlines related to their sexuality; they're just as normal and demented as everyone else on the show. Now that's what we call progress.

And an excuse to post a picture of a sweaty football player's belly.

Separated at Birth: Lance Bass and Patrick McDonald?

Behold, the fashion party fixture, and Lance Bass, morphing into one another. This is Lance from the cover of this week's HX Magazine.

Our Goddamn Gay Roommates Are Always Asking Us To Write a Post About Them, So Here Goes.

So, as you may or may not have heard, Bigmouth has two gay roommates these days. Gone are the days when a heterosexual couple ruled our roost. In their place have arrived two different flavors of fags. One is a burly marathon runner who loves to cook experimental meals. The other is a spritely (ok, Jewy) law student who supplies a lot of witty (ok, cruel) banter around the apartment. We must say, though we miss our previous roommates desperately (especially Fishwatch!), they are truly a delightful pair of people to live with. Except, we've found that everything that's great about them comes with a caveat. Hence, a list:

1) They are both far better dressed than we are... Except they both have short arms and we don't fit into their clothes.

2) They don't have long, feminine locks that get caught on everything, including our clothes… Instead they have short body hair that they are constantly trimming that gets caught in everything, especially drains.

3) They are not nasty about the apartment getting messy… They're just nasty AND messy.

4) They always want to go out and drink…. Yeah, um, blessing and curse.

5) They always have delicious, unhealthy food around the house, yet both remain quite trim… While we do not.

6) They're both huge whores… See #4.

7) They're very chipper and chatty in the mornings… See #4.

8) They are handsome and always on the prowl… So nobody every looks at us in bars any more.

9) They feel comfortable borrowing any and all of our products…. And porn.

10) Other friends now constantly ask us about a cute guys we know on Facebook… which means we will invariably have to deal with other said friends in our bathroom in the morning in the near future.

11) They loll around in their underwear on the furniture all the time… Yeah, and then one day we got scabies from our couch. See #6.

Overall, it's much more of a boon than a burden to live with two cute fags. But, you know, let the buyer beware. Gays are much louder during sex than straights, as it turns out. And it's unlikely your straight guy roommate will ever get up in the morning, hungover, and ask you, "Did I give you a blowjob last night? I have rugburn on my knees."

*Please, don't worry, that's not us in the picture.

A Subtle Fagats Nod in Today's Gawker

Well, well, well. We KNEW Gawker read our little blog here. In today's rendition of the blog there's a post about "Super Mario Brothers: The Lost Levels," that includes the following quote by editor Alex Pareene:

That's the game that was the "real" sequel to the classic Super Mario Brothers that was never released in the US because it was sadistically difficult and instead we got the weird bullshit American Mario 2 where everyone knew to play as Princess Toadstool even though it was def kinda gay.

Pareene, we know you're not an asscheek motorboater, but have you been reading the Fagat Guide's "Why You Are Gay" posts?

The Ugly Side (and Back, and Balls) Of Gay Drug Abuse

Um. This is the best blog post ever, passed on to us from our Tall and Handsome Friend. We were just thinking the other day, as we walked past all the weird old men in drag who sometimes hang out at Boysroom during the week, that sometimes New York is the most busted city in the world. But clearly, it has NOTHING on DC. If you think the pic on the left is funny/mysterious, you have to read the rest of the post. There is, as they say, a lot of crack in it, so it's NSFW. Except in the way that will make you forward it on to all of your co-workers immediately.


Crack is Whack [Knee Deep in Mud]

Fred Phelps Loses, Also Wins

So the father of a dead soldier won nearly $11 million from hatemonger Fred Phelps and his family, after they protested around the funeral of his son. The Phelps family has lately taken to doing such things, as they think the Iraq war is somehow a punishment for American tolerance of homosexuality. We were delighted with the news (we're interested to see whether Phelps have that kind of money, which will surely be revealing about what their real motives in all of this are – plus, they deserved the legal slap), but something Phelps said on the Today show this morning made us uneasy. "We got more and we're getting more appropriate news coverage than anything we've ever done," he said, adding that he was delighted by the verdict. How do you fight against someone whose main goal is to make you want to fight? You can't, but hopefully by tying their financial strings, we're making progress.