Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Casual Gayness Hits the Times

Did anybody notice, buried within a story about teeth-grinding (which we are embarrassed to say we were profoundly interested by), this section?
During sleep bruxism, [a doctor] explained, the upper and lower teeth may come into direct contact as much as 40 minutes per hour, and — for example, on the first molar — with a force of about 250 pounds. Hence the football player. Compare that with normal circumstances, when a person’s teeth make contact for about 20 minutes a day, while chewing, and with only 20 to 40 pounds of pressure. Even if I wanted a football player in my bed, I certainly wouldn’t want him standing on my teeth. I became aware of his presence the way that many bruxers do. My then-boyfriend told me I woke him up with a dreadful crunching noise that came from grinding.
Emphasis added. The article is titled "A Lineman in My Bed."

Um… Since when is the Times so casual about its writers being so faggy? It's great! Like, the gayness of the author is an unquestioned premise of the story – like how the gay characters on Desperate Housewives don't have any plotlines related to their sexuality; they're just as normal and demented as everyone else on the show. Now that's what we call progress.


And an excuse to post a picture of a sweaty football player's belly.

2 comments:

MattGaymon said...

Also, I couldn't help but think of the sound of a nice tossed salad when I read "crunching noise"

Skye said...

I had to stop taking Wellbutrin because of bruxism. Not only did I wake up with terribly sore jaws, my jaws would clench uncontrollably during the day. I found myself literally pulling my lower jaw down in order to unclench and get some relief. The sensation was like performing oral sex on Ralph Woods and Ben Andrews simultaneously non-stop for 24 hours.