We have been noticing a strange thing recently. Men in headbands. More specifically, STRAIGHT men in headbands. We're not talking about bandanas or sweatbands or those patagonia ones that keep your ears warm. We are talking the horseshoe shaped headbands my sister used to wear in 1993 or those bra strap all the way around the head thingies that my friends in high school wore in 1999. Friends who were GIRLS, obviously, since we are talking about high school.
Two (2) straight boys at this school wear the bra strap ones on a regular basis, and I saw a man in a black thin bedazzled plastic horseshoe shaped one last night on the subway kissing a girl. Yes, all of these men have fabulous, thick, longish hair, and kind of looked hot in their headbands. But I wonder, if a gay man came to school wearing a headband of any sort, we would probably brush him off as a ridiculous human being who wears a headband, and laugh in his face. In fact, when Bigmouth had longish hair and used one to hold his hair back when tanning two summers ago in the privacy of the home of the people in the hamptons we were mooching off of, we pointed and laughed for the whole afternoon, and got our friends to do the same. But put one on a straight man, and all of a sudden it is not only socially acceptable, but it sort of looks hot. Are we homophobic? Do we suffer from gay shame? Are straight men trendier than we are? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!? WE THOUGHT THE GAY MAFIA GOT RID OF THE METROSEXUALS!!!
But I guess there are tradeoffs. Straight men actually have to deal with bras, so maybe they deserve to wear the straps around their head. In fact, we're not even sure we could identify a bra strap. Also, headbands go much better with sports jerseys and pleated pants. Carry on then straight men, carry on.