We had yet another missed celebrity encounter on Friday night. We were at the Chelsea movie theater on line for “The Queen,” (YAAAAY!!! PUNS!!!) when we looked ahead of us and spotted Jessie Spano herself (Ms. Elizabeth Berkley) taking photos with some overbearing gays. We have seen her out and about before, but not since we got our Bayside Tigers T-shirt. Ever since we got it, we have dreamed about running into her again and getting her to sign it and perhaps pose for a camera-phone picture.
The G*ds must have been on our side that night, because we suddenly realized that under our long-sleeve Gap Kids T-shirt and Marmot Fleece, we had thrown on said Bayside Tigers shirt!!! We quickly dumped our bags on our companion, and started chasing Ms. Berkley who had already finished with the “too old to have really been into Saved By The Bell” Queens (YAAAY!!!! PUNS!!!), and was on her way up the escalator.
As we said before, we sometimes lose all sense of self-control around celebrities, and so we starting yelling her name on the escalator as we were pulling off our top two layers. Obvi, our Bayside Tigers shirt got caught in the fray and it appeared to everyone around us that we were chasing her while ripping off our clothes. She ran. We ran. We lost our vision as the shirts came over our head, fell, and by the time we got up, not only were we shirtless and scrawny looking, surrounded by gym freaks, but we had lost one of the greatest opportunities of our life.
This was especially painful to us, as we know all the words and dance moves to Hot Sundae’s “Put Your Mind To It,” and have been known to recreate the pivotal “I’m So Excited” scene of her career at dinner parties.
But we’ll live. At least The Queen was good. Ms. Berkley wasn’t inside though. She would have been easy to spot, as had she been there, she would have been the ONLY female in the ENTIRE THEATER. Seriously. When HRH Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh said “Elton John,” the ground literally shook.
In other news, the JAG protests went well – we were personally chosen to lead the “DOOO ask DOOOO tell” chant as the recruiters left the interview rooms and walked past us. A fellow OUTLaw noticed that they kept going to the bathroom together.
We were struck, however, by our non-OUTLaw classmates who were reluctant to wear rainbow ribbons when we were passing them out, our guess being because they thought it would lead people to believe they were gay. We suffered from this back in college before Bigmouth dragged us out of the closet, but we were curious if actual straight people who go to school in the West Village with oodles of ‘mos really worry about being perceived as gay. We’re not talking about people who support Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, but people who clearly oppose discrimination, and probably have a gay friend or two, but still would feel “weird” wearing a rainbow ribbon. Is the symbol of “pride” too tied to “coming out” and “identity” to be worn by allies? When we still had ours on later that evening, even we thought that people would see it and automatically think that we were gay, not question whether we were actually gay or just an ally. Or maybe we felt that way because we were seeing The Queen...in Chelsea...wearing a Bayside Tigers shirt.