Monday, November 20, 2006

And Thus Arises The Age-Old Question: ...So Now Do We Have To Sleep With Him?

Amazing news. Our Spanish roommate came out to us! So you can understand the sequence of events in all their excruciating glory, here below is a transcript of what happened (This conversation was held in English. Normally we speak only in Spanish. This is important to note):

SPANISH ROOMMATE: So, Bigmouth, can I ask you a personal question?
BIGMOUTH: Of course (translation: Sweet. This is going to be good.)
SR: Do you think I am gay?
BM: (long pause) ...Yes?
SR: Okay.
BM: Why?
SR: Because I didn´t think you knew.
BM: (pause for shock) Oh, I knew. (translation: Obviously we had no clue.)
SR: Because I told you like four times and I didn´t think you understood.
BM: No, I did. (translation: DAMN YOU INADEQUATE LANGUAGE SKILLS!)
SR: Okay.


We can only imagine the conversations that took place when he tried to tell us before (because, obviously, we don´t know when they took place). They probably went something like this:

SR: (in Spanish) Bigmouth, I have something important to tell you. I don´t tell a lot of people but we´ve become close and I respect you so I want to trust you. You should know that I´m gay, and I´m just starting to become comfortable with it. Phew! What a relief to tell someone!
BM: (in Spanish) Oh! I´m so glad you said something! I thought I was the only person in the apartment. So you think the kitchen smells funny too?
SR: .... (silent tears of loneliness)

6 comments:

Vincent said...

That's great news!!!! Awesome. But indeed, it raises the question. Well at least you know what he has in mind when he comes to you with liquor and a scary movie ;)

Anonymous said...

Awww. That's kinda sweet/sad/funny. As to "the question," I say keep him in reserve. If you can't get any Spanish tail, he'll be there, but I wouldn't do him first because of the whole "defecating where one resides" thing. Unless you WANT draaaaaaaaaaaaama.

Anonymous said...

See!! You didn't need the Hardy Boys afterall. You should be so proud of your sluething skills, not so much the translation skills, but im still proud.

Anonymous said...

i thought the more pertinent question was: is he hot?

the answer to that is undoubtedly the answer to your question.

Ross W said...

The hankie canoodler?

bigmouth said...

HA! The one who replaced him after he went bonkers and went home...