Monday, November 27, 2006

Aren't You So Glad We Didn't Give You A Post Of Things We Are Thankful For on Thanksgiving?

Good. Because we're giving it to you the Monday afterward. We were drunk all day on the actual holiday. We'll make it fast.

Gay Things We Are Thankful For This 2006: The fact that we now have more television characters to represent us than just the queens on the Real World... Men who trim, but do not shave, their pubic hair... The fact that it's been nearly eight years since we have come face to face with a vagina... Our low personal moral threshold... Zara... The low moral threshold of oher gays... The fact that cute sneakers have replaced chunky brown shoes in the gay uniform... The way you can tell whether a boy is gay based on the way his t-shirt sleeve circles his arm... Halle Berry's boyfriend... The fact that we can wear a cute polo to any gay function at any level of formality... Gays who remember to work out muscles below their bellybuttons... We actually mean MUSCLES, you asshats... Who's Viewed Me... Casual sarcasm... You Tube... Dude Tube... Gays who still wear sleeveless tees... How else would we know which ones to avoid? ... Gays with naturally hairless asses... Any combination of Whitney Houston and Junior Vasquez... Hot subletters... Drunk fag hags... Queer animals... Getting cruised on the L train... Fangoria ... Boys who whimper... Fake glasses... The fact that we don't need real ones... Hot cops... Gay Jews... Scary Trannies... Calvin Klein cotton trunks... Ugly gays who overcompensate with humor and Prada... Gaysians who think muscles will actually make them masculine... Neil Patrick Harris and TR Knight... iPod shame... Ribbed For Her Pleasure... Merino crewnecks... The fact that we can again start playing Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" on repeat... Dykefinder.com... Friends' summer homes... The Only Broadway CD You'll Ever Need... The fact that everybody wants a gay at their wedding... One, by U2 and Mary J. Blige... The way the short ones are sometimes the best hung... The fact that no one ever suspects that the gay guy is the one who let rip that nasty fart...

We could go on and on, but we shouldn't forget the best one of all... our faithful faggy readers! May you never actually have anything to do at work!

2 comments:

Rottin' in Denmark said...

"The way you can tell whether a boy is gay based on the way his t-shirt sleeve circles his arm"

Whatsthatnow, you can? Can someone illuminate this for me?

Maybe it's just a NYC/Madrid thing. Here in Copenhagen, the only way to tell if someone's gay is if he bikes too slow...

Anonymous said...

i love you fagats.