Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Their Eyes Were Watching Boys...

Some random Tuesday musings on the gay-gaze:

You know when you stare into the eyes of a cute straight man walking towards you a little too long, and in his head he thinks maybe he is supposed to know you ("cause why else would this person be staring at me so freakishly"), so he does that straight boy head nod thing as he finally passes you? Well this happened to us twice today with a boy in the libes who carries around a motorcycle helmet. It is very embarrassing slash one of the best parts of being a 'mo. It also constantly happens to us with another boy at school, whose profile we found on facebook (obvi) and accidentally had open one time as he walked passed us, so not only did we stare at him uncomfortably, but we had his shirtless pics from Spring Break 2005 in full view on our screen. The worst is when you finally get introduced to these people through some friend or event, and then you have to pretend that you don't know who they are but secretly you both know that some serious stare-stalking has occurred. This one boy has actually caught on that LL and us stare at him in the libes and when we walk by (it really isn't that hard to catch on, trust us - maybe the fact that we look at each other after we pass him and giggle uncontrollably gives it away), and now he gives us both a disapproving nod every time it happens.

Perhaps these people need a seminar to teach them the art of "I know you are staring at me, but I will pretend that I don't see and also pretend that my friend just said something funny because then you will think I am hotter" that gay men have learned to master. We'd be willing to teach this class since, although we are still waiting for an opportunity to practice this move, we have been around numerous times when Bigmouth has spontaneously thrown his head back laughing and touched our shoulder saying "Gosh, FW, that is so funny!" when in fact we had only been complaining about the club soda being flat.

4 comments:

MattGaymon said...

Even more fun: when you stare and then actually come out and say "Sorry, you're gorgeous" whether the recipient is straight (99% will be flattered) or gay (flattered and possibly will make out with you).

Note: I can only guarantee these results in NYC and SF.

LL said...

I spend way too much time Covering for this ploy.

Nafees said...

Obvi doesnt happen at Fordham where everyone is uggo - so lucky you left.

bigmouth said...

Gosh, FW, this post is so funny!