Thursday, November 30, 2006

As For Rehoboth Beach, Though, Is It Possible To Be Up-And-Coming and Aging-And-Sun-Damaged At The Same Time?

The website (who knew?) has come up with a list of up-and-coming new, well, gay ghettos. Obviously the founders of the site are cleverly just trying to corner the luxury online real estate ad market. After all, who wouldn´t want to target a wealthy minority as they peruse the web looking for places to overspend on up-and-coming neighborhoods? But who knows, it might be accurate.

The list is interesting for a few reasons, not the least of which because it includes Andersonville, the Chicago neighborhood where official Straight Fagat Brother, Bald Knob, lives with his girlfriend. (And, oddly, the South End in Boston, the former home of our mom´s ex boyfriend. Like we ever had a chance.)

But we must object to the inclusion of Hell´s Kitchen. Sure, some bargain-hunting gays live there, and yes, Therapy is nearby. But if HK is the future of gay life in the city, we may just move to South Second, WI. We´re no experts, but this is a neighborhood best known for its cramped sublets with fake walls, framed posters, second-hand futons, fake plants, and mismatching Ikea furniture. From what we can tell, the gays that live there are a bunch of double-denim-wearing, TKTS-stub-clutching, DEP-gel-using, Instinct-subscribing, chin-pube-sporting, RENT-soundtrack-(still)-singing, triple-finger-snapping members of Dolphin Fitness. Who couldn´t even get their shit together to live in the East Village.

If this is what´s up-and-coming in New York, we might as well be up and going.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Apologies To Towleroad For The Complete Ripoff Post

But as born-and-raised Mainers, we really didn't think Canadians were capable of sarcasm. We thought the pinnacle of their civilization was the day they learned to combine coconut oil and banana hammocks, and drive across the border. But hey, we're all about learning new things...

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Their Eyes Were Watching Boys...

Some random Tuesday musings on the gay-gaze:

You know when you stare into the eyes of a cute straight man walking towards you a little too long, and in his head he thinks maybe he is supposed to know you ("cause why else would this person be staring at me so freakishly"), so he does that straight boy head nod thing as he finally passes you? Well this happened to us twice today with a boy in the libes who carries around a motorcycle helmet. It is very embarrassing slash one of the best parts of being a 'mo. It also constantly happens to us with another boy at school, whose profile we found on facebook (obvi) and accidentally had open one time as he walked passed us, so not only did we stare at him uncomfortably, but we had his shirtless pics from Spring Break 2005 in full view on our screen. The worst is when you finally get introduced to these people through some friend or event, and then you have to pretend that you don't know who they are but secretly you both know that some serious stare-stalking has occurred. This one boy has actually caught on that LL and us stare at him in the libes and when we walk by (it really isn't that hard to catch on, trust us - maybe the fact that we look at each other after we pass him and giggle uncontrollably gives it away), and now he gives us both a disapproving nod every time it happens.

Perhaps these people need a seminar to teach them the art of "I know you are staring at me, but I will pretend that I don't see and also pretend that my friend just said something funny because then you will think I am hotter" that gay men have learned to master. We'd be willing to teach this class since, although we are still waiting for an opportunity to practice this move, we have been around numerous times when Bigmouth has spontaneously thrown his head back laughing and touched our shoulder saying "Gosh, FW, that is so funny!" when in fact we had only been complaining about the club soda being flat.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Aren't You So Glad We Didn't Give You A Post Of Things We Are Thankful For on Thanksgiving?

Good. Because we're giving it to you the Monday afterward. We were drunk all day on the actual holiday. We'll make it fast.

Gay Things We Are Thankful For This 2006: The fact that we now have more television characters to represent us than just the queens on the Real World... Men who trim, but do not shave, their pubic hair... The fact that it's been nearly eight years since we have come face to face with a vagina... Our low personal moral threshold... Zara... The low moral threshold of oher gays... The fact that cute sneakers have replaced chunky brown shoes in the gay uniform... The way you can tell whether a boy is gay based on the way his t-shirt sleeve circles his arm... Halle Berry's boyfriend... The fact that we can wear a cute polo to any gay function at any level of formality... Gays who remember to work out muscles below their bellybuttons... We actually mean MUSCLES, you asshats... Who's Viewed Me... Casual sarcasm... You Tube... Dude Tube... Gays who still wear sleeveless tees... How else would we know which ones to avoid? ... Gays with naturally hairless asses... Any combination of Whitney Houston and Junior Vasquez... Hot subletters... Drunk fag hags... Queer animals... Getting cruised on the L train... Fangoria ... Boys who whimper... Fake glasses... The fact that we don't need real ones... Hot cops... Gay Jews... Scary Trannies... Calvin Klein cotton trunks... Ugly gays who overcompensate with humor and Prada... Gaysians who think muscles will actually make them masculine... Neil Patrick Harris and TR Knight... iPod shame... Ribbed For Her Pleasure... Merino crewnecks... The fact that we can again start playing Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" on repeat... Friends' summer homes... The Only Broadway CD You'll Ever Need... The fact that everybody wants a gay at their wedding... One, by U2 and Mary J. Blige... The way the short ones are sometimes the best hung... The fact that no one ever suspects that the gay guy is the one who let rip that nasty fart...

We could go on and on, but we shouldn't forget the best one of all... our faithful faggy readers! May you never actually have anything to do at work!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Related: If You Are Still In The Closet Make Sure You Don't Download Sexy Back and Barbra's Duets...

In our effort to procrastinate even more than we normally do, we have taken to judging people based on their music collection. Whereas in the olden days this involved inviting yourself to a person's holiday party to actually see his CD collection, now we can judge from the comfort of our own seat in the law library. The Itunes "share my library on my local network" option allows us to judge judge judge. Not only can we see the entirety of said person's music library, but we can also see their "Top 25" and "Top Rated" lists. When the boy sitting across from you says he dates girls, it's nice to know your suspicion that he likes c*ck is right when you see "Gotta Get Through This" by Daniel Beddingfield as number one on his Top 25 list.

This activity gave us hours of joy (not to mention that we discovered some amazing Christina Aguilera songs we had never heard before), until we undertook some introspection and realized what we were listening to on a daily basis. When JoJo, a cappella, and songs from the Original Cast Recording of Les Miz are near the top of your recently played list, maybe it's time to go into Itunes hiding and unclick the "share option."

The lesson? We can still judge others without being judged ourselves. By still keeping the "look for shared libraries" option checked, we can laugh out loud at the boy next to us for his extensive electronica collection, knowing that he will never see just how many Dixie Chicks albums we have. We need to write a letter to Friendster about making the "whose viewed me" option more like this. It's the American way.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

We Try To Be Our Gayest Self At All Times To Avoid Confusion, But Winter Coats And Cold Wind Messing Up Our Hair Sometimes Makes It Hard...

No time to do our usually meaningful and substantive post today, but we will leave you with a brief encounter we had last night at 1am as we were walking home from the subway stop with our coat collar popped and singing along to Mariah #1s (Vision of Love).
Two banker type men and a hot, sort of slutty, banker type blonde woman: Hey, do you know where Scores is?
FW: We're sorry, wha?
Them: Scores. Any idea where it is?
FW: No. But L'Occitane is one block that way. Great hand creme.

Monday, November 20, 2006

And Thus Arises The Age-Old Question: ...So Now Do We Have To Sleep With Him?

Amazing news. Our Spanish roommate came out to us! So you can understand the sequence of events in all their excruciating glory, here below is a transcript of what happened (This conversation was held in English. Normally we speak only in Spanish. This is important to note):

SPANISH ROOMMATE: So, Bigmouth, can I ask you a personal question?
BIGMOUTH: Of course (translation: Sweet. This is going to be good.)
SR: Do you think I am gay?
BM: (long pause) ...Yes?
SR: Okay.
BM: Why?
SR: Because I didn´t think you knew.
BM: (pause for shock) Oh, I knew. (translation: Obviously we had no clue.)
SR: Because I told you like four times and I didn´t think you understood.
SR: Okay.

We can only imagine the conversations that took place when he tried to tell us before (because, obviously, we don´t know when they took place). They probably went something like this:

SR: (in Spanish) Bigmouth, I have something important to tell you. I don´t tell a lot of people but we´ve become close and I respect you so I want to trust you. You should know that I´m gay, and I´m just starting to become comfortable with it. Phew! What a relief to tell someone!
BM: (in Spanish) Oh! I´m so glad you said something! I thought I was the only person in the apartment. So you think the kitchen smells funny too?
SR: .... (silent tears of loneliness)

Friday, November 17, 2006

This Is Not To Say That Gala Dinners Are Not, In Themselves, A Service To Gays. We Do, After All, Cruise Best In Formal Attire.

Like many of you, we have always wondered what the Human Rights Campaign actually does with our money. Sure, we´ve been to the dinners (sometimes CELEBRITIES even go!), and we know they fund candidates. But what do they actually do (there are apparently 150 staffers) on, say, a Tuesday? Other than eat a pricey low-carb lunch on our dime, we mean.

But this article in the Washington Blade is a bit encouraging. You should all give it a read, if you have an HRC sticker anywhere in your house or on your car. Turns out they didn't to do that much in the past, really, but they're getting better. This paragraph in particular makes us hopeful:

"HRC IS ALSO beginning to show that it understands how to make alliances with other organizations. Examples are its work with Montana League of Rural Voters and Montana Conservation Voters and the joint efforts with Michigan Citizen Action, NOW and Planned Parenthood of Michigan. "

We think it's very smart for gay groups to ally with others whenever possible - and to engage in activities and charity projects that are not just motivated by self-interest. Queer Eye started the trend by sending out the message that gay people like to help other, less fortunate folk. As stupid as the show is, that was one positive thing it achieved (well, that and making us feel less stupid for having self-painted canvases as decoration in our bedroom).

We've always liked the HRC logo, because we hate rainbows, and it gets the point across very well. Equality is all we want, and deserve. Maybe by working with more local groups, they can make it more than just a symbol. Maybe, one day, when are driving on the highway and we see an HRC bumper sticker on a Jeep, we will feel pride and gratitude.

As opposed to now, when we just speed up to see if the dude driving it is a hottie.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

We Hope Bigmouth Writes About Us When We Graduate From This Blog Or Our Name Will Never Appear In Boldface...

We got our college alumni magazine the other day and of course immediately turned to the class notes to see who is having more success in life than we are and is therefore deserving of being talked about incessantly behind his or her back. We almost barfed when we saw that 7 out of 9 paragraphs were about marriage or babies (um...if you haven't noticed we can't even take care of this blog, are these people having children?). Instead of re-reading about the same marriages we already read about at some point in the Sunday Styles section, we decided to skip our class notes and look through older classes' notes to see by what age we had to actually be a productive member of society or in the alternative, a partner at a law firm.

But it was mostly more weddings, which we guess is really what these class notes are for. We were about to give up on life altogether, when we finally came across one announcement we kind of liked:
Liam C writes, "I had the happy honor of being a guest at Scott C's wedding - the UK government had a different term for it, 'civil partnership,' but wedding pretty much covers it - to Alex K, May 28, in what proved to be a particularly jolly old England. The government's official registrar tried to stay very official, but was moved to tears by the end of the event....Mr. C and Mr. K live in a lovely village/suburb of London in a lovely house (complete with a lovely garden cottage) and do things with computers that, to a novelist, at least, sound wildly complicated. Not so their happiness, which was plainly evident to all of us."
The best part? They are THIRTEEN YEARS older than we are. Based on the number of profile views we get a month, thirteen years from now 156 people will have viewed us on Friendster. If a husband, house and garden cottage don't emerge out of that pool, well, we guess there's always that productive member of society thing.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Hypothetical High Five!

We sort of really like the simplicity of this article by Miami Herald columnist Leonard Pitts, Jr. The thrust of his point is here:

"This all raises two questions. One: Between this [Ted Haggard], the late gay-bashing former Spokane mayor, James West, Pat Robertson biographer Mel White, and Michael Bussee and Gary Cooper, leaders in the "curing homosexuality" movement until they fell in love with one another, can't we now safely assume that any conservative who rants about the homosexual agenda is a lying hypocrite gayer than a Castro Street bar? And, two: Wouldn't you much rather be Neil Patrick Harris than Ted Haggard just now? In other words, wouldn't you rather be a content gay man living life to the fullest, than a gay hypocrite living lies to the fullest?"

We think the answer is pretty obvious. Because as you can see from above, Doogie's boyfriend is a HOTTIE.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

And Then There Were Five.

Well, then. We were talking with a gay activist today about the conservative protest against the gay marriage law in Spain. It's in front of the country's Constitutional Tribunal (like our Supreme Court) right now. Here, the right wing Partido Popular wants to take the word "marriage" away from the gays, but leave them all the rights in a different law, outside of the constitution.

The man with whom we were speaking was Pedro Zerolo, the writer of Spain's equal marriage law, a government minister, and the man widely credited for making equality a reality here. On the suit in front of the Constitutional Tribunal, he said.

"There's a word for what they want. Separate rules for separate people. The word is: Apartheid."

Probably just the right word to be throwing out today:

NYTIMES - South African Parliament Approves Gay Marriages

This Is Definitely A Case For The Hardy Boys. Well, We Can Probably Figure It Out On Our Own. But We’ve Always Wanted To Hang Out With Them.

And by “Hang Out With,” clearly we mean “Get Two-Timed By.”

Following up on the theme of last week’s post about homoconfusion, we have something to discuss. It’s very important in our daily life, and we know you will find it extremely interesting.

We think our Spanish roommate is gay.

It’s been driving us and our two female roommates crazy for months. It’s like the fucking Westing Game - there are red herrings everywhere. On the one hand, he wears skimpy, aggressively colored underpants. On the other hand, he doesn’t own deodorant. He doesn’t have a girlfriend (super rare here), but he also doesn’t like pop music. And worst of all, he has neither tried to hook up with his hot single female roommate, Ashley H, nor his hot single male roommate, Big M. And yesterday, we saw that his computer desktop is a black and white picture of a shirtless male model. Wet.

And the thing is, we really shouldn’t care. But it’s just been forever since we’ve known someone very well and still not been sure whether he was gay or not. We’re riveted. Each new clue is discussed with rapt enthusiasm by the rest of us. He grabbed a girl’s boob! He grabbed a guy’s boob!! HE BOUGHT A HAIR PRODUCT FROM AMERICAN CREW.

We can just imagine, when gay literature becomes more mainstream, the adolescent mystery novels this exact issue will spawn. We spent so much time in our early teens obsessing over it. We’re imagining Edward Gorey cover illustrations, and a John Bellairs suspense plot inside. We can see it now… “The House With The Cock In Its Walls.”

Oh, har!

Friday, November 10, 2006

Massholes Do The Right Thing. Pretty Much.

We're at a little bit of a loss as to how to contemplate this story. The Massachusetts legislature dodged the question of whether to put gay marriage on the ballot yesterday, delaying to the point where it probably won't be able to get onto the 2008 ballots. Gay activists greeted this decision with cheers and tears of joy, and we completely understand that emotion. Committed gay couples will continue to be married if they so choose, and that's what we want in the end.

But by sidestepping the issue, the Legislature has left room for arch-conservatives like exiting Governor Mitt Romney to cloak their homophobia in constitutional rhetoric. "Today, by effectively avoiding the constitutionally required vote on same-sex marriage, 109 legislators disgraced their oath of office," Romney said. Read: "I don't like gay people and I never have, but now I have the perfect excuse to complain about gay marriage without being politically incorrect."

Still, we're not above a little sleight-of-hand when it comes to getting what we want in the end, and here's why: As this article eloquently points out, the more time that gay marriage is legal, the more good examples will exist of why it should be. Gay marriage is not like abortion, which will be argued over forever because of the way it was legalized in Roe v. Wade. As positive as our abortion policies may be, you'll never see a physical example of why abortion SHOULD be legal - by nature it's regulation that hinges on what is not there. But as time goes by in Massachusetts, we will have more and more evidence that it isn't harmful, and that it in fact helps people. Then, when the time comes that it does go on the ballot (and it will, despite how many Massachusetts gay activists were rejoicing yesterday), more people will have gay families living next door, or in play group, or on the PTA. There's no way, then, that they will get enough votes to make a change. Perhaps then, too, the examples created in Massachusetts will help neighboring states realize that gay marriage isn't so apocalyptic after all.

Regardless, conservative lawmakers in Massachusetts and around the country received rejections this week they won't soon forget. To them we say, hey, it could be worse. You could be Kevin Federline.

Nothing Like An Outed RNC Chair To Cause A Walk Down Memory Lane

Well. We don’t know what to think about Ken Mehlman. In the end, we sort of decided that he wasn’t gay, after he told us so. But here comes Bill Maher, ready to tell us we were all wrong. Isn’t it usually the straight guys who assume everyone is straight, and the gays who assume the opposite? Funny. (Our secret suspicion is that Maher knows Mehlman won't sue him for libel, so he's safe even if the guy is straight)

But anyway, as a celebration of whether or not Kenny is about to be outed, we thought we’d take a walk down memory lane, and recall our favorite moments of sexual confusion:

1) One of the best had to be during Senior year in college, on Halloween, when we unexpectedly found ourselves in the bed of a boy who had been straight throughout college (he had even just dumped a girlfriend the day before, and would reunite with her the day after). We were so surprised by the situation that we didn’t realize how drunk we were, and halfway through the evening’s activities, we left his room, claiming to have to go to the bathroom. Instead, though, we walked home, without shoes, socks, jacket, wallet or shirt. When we arrived, we barfed for hours.

2) Very high up on the list would also have to be, despite his protestations that he wasn’t gay, the time we kissed Fishwatch in a basement squash court. While we got in trouble for it at the time, it was one of the best things we ever did.

3) Then there’s the time when, as a camp counselor we got drunk (are we noticing a pattern here?) while leading a hiking trip of ten nine-year-olds on the Appalachian trail. While sleeping in a lean-to with the campers and some random thru-hikers, we were very surprised when the straight, Scottish head counselor deemed it necessary to perform a hypothermia drill with us in our sleeping bag.

4) And who could forget the time when Kevin Spacey told an ex of ours, confusing his reticence to hook up for actual heterosexuality, that “You don’t have to be a waterskier to waterski”?

5) And the best one would have to be the time that we, before thousands of television viewers would ask the same question, wondered whether this guy was gay. He was the first boy we hit on at college, and it went so poorly that soon after we hooked up with his female best friend as penance.

This could go on for pages. Anyone else have stories to share?

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Breaking: Men Who Get Paid To Be Photographed With No Clothes On Are Usually Good Looking And Date Celebrities...

Thursday Styles has profiled Jamie Dornan today, Calvin Klein hottie and Kiera Knightly ex, and what we learn is:
“He’s like the male Kate Moss...His proportions are a little off. He has a slight build. He’s on the small side for male models. But his torso is long, and so he looks taller, and he brings a relaxed quality to modeling. He knows what he’s there for, but unlike a lot of people he’s not trying to be a male model. He is not modeling.”
That's so meta.

Do you think by "unlike a lot of people" they are referring to the NYC Gays who think they are male models because they have nice hair, a David Barton membership, and layer well? If so, y'all should take some advice and stop trying so hard. For example:


See? Just being completely normal.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

If The Day After Election Day Was A Holiday, We Feel Like The Traditional Drink Should Be Champagne.

We've been checking the web all day to monitor what's been happening in election, but our favorite moment so far was when we showed up at our tutor's house for Spanish class. Turns out Montana had elected a Democrat to the senate while we were in the subway, and our tutor greeted us at the door saying "The Democrats are going to win the Senate! The Democrats are going to win the Senate!" He was born and raised in Madrid. It's days like these, when Spanish people you see say "Congratulations" on the street that you remember people do believe in America, just not President Bush.

While we were encouraged by the Democratic success today, we were sad to see gay marriage struck down in so many states. But an encouraging thing, we thought, was that Arizona was the first state to refuse to enact a ban. Arizona Together, a very dedicated and well-funded pro-equal rights group, is to thank for that. They directed a great campaign focused on putting a face on the issue. Their ads all begin with sentences like "Meet Bob. If you vote for this amendment, this is what he will lose." They even encouraged gay people to have explanation parties, where they would invite friends and neighbors to ask questions about being gay. They reasoned if every gay person could convince two more people to vote against the ban, the ban would fail. And it did.

We're running out of time at this internet cafe in rainy Madrid, but for everyone who went out to vote yesterday, thanks. We're not the only ones over here who noticed.

Dems Win House, Pages Can Go Back to D.C. Feeling Safe and Secure...Except That The Terrorists Have Won.

The Election of 2006 Official Recap:

1. So the Dems have taken the House and maybe the Senate if Jim W can edge out the man who calls our people monkeys in Virginny. Also Rummy is dunzo. Nice job overall team. Nancy P managed to unplug herself from the wall socket to make an incomprehensible speech last night, but she could have been calling all minorities monkeys, we still would have been thrilled.

2. We also must confess that we are happy about the New York State Comptroller's race in which Alan H kept his position despite maybe not acting too Comptroller-ish by having state drivers drive around his wife. Our daddy took out the man's prostate a few years back, and obvi we got an internship out of it, so you can tell that we have strong convictions when it comes to State politics.

3. Arizona has (almost) rejected a same-sex marriage ban, and the margins on the 7 other states (though they passed) were smaller than expected. Though the first state of 28 that have voted on similar measures since 1998 to reject the ban, it is Arizona people, so give thanks. Maybe they realized straight people were doing enough damage to marriage as it is.

4. Deval P and Eliot S win their respective guvnor-ships, and both support marriage equality. If Eliot gets his way, we won't have to take the PATH train anymore to get whatever they're going to call it over there in Hoboken.

5. Most importantly, however, did Anderson stop eating? He looked really skinny last night. Maybe he has been hitting Equinox too often. (Call us Anderson!) Also, how he keeps a straight face when talking to Candy C is beyond us all. Ha ha. We just used "Anderson" and "straight" in the same sentence. (CALL US ANDERSON!)

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

We Do Have Gay Friends Here From America, France, Scotland and Uruguay. Just Not Spain. We’re Like The United Colors Of Fagetton.

Since we’ve come to Spain we’ve made a big effort to make Spanish friends. This has been slightly difficult, as since we entered prep school at the age of 14, we have never had to make a single new friend. It was all the same people from there to the Ivy League to New York. So we signed up on a website to start doing one-on-one language exchanges with Spaniards who wanted to practice their English. We in turn could practice our Spanish, and in the end, perhaps make new friends. And since we wanted to make gay pals who could show us all the fun Madrid places to go out, we put on our listing that we were gay, 25 and American.

Big mistake. We were immediately bombarded by emails from Spaniards of all ages. “How exciting,” we thought. “So many people want to practice their English and make new friends!” What we should have realized is that all foreign people know Americans are brain-dead sex maniacs. So when we said we wanted to practice our Spanish, they assumed that we wouldn’t be able to speak Spanish at all, and since we would have nothing to talk about, we’d be forced to go back to their parents’ place and wrap our ankles around their bedposts. (They all live with their parents, fyi.)

We’ve gone on exchange dates with six men so far. One of them lured us back to his place to have dinner and tried to dry hump us in the kitchen. One tried to get us drunk at lunch and take us back to his mom’s house for an afternoon quickie. And one, who was only 20 years old, took us salsa dancing and then proceeded to send us erotic text messages (in Spanish text-abbreviated slang) every day for a week.

This would be great if any of the guys were hot. But an inherent problem in the situation is that the type of guys who want to spend their free time practicing a foreign language with a stranger aren’t the type of guys who have hordes of potential boyfriends lined up. Present company excluded, of course.

So our next stop was to join, with a lesbian friend of ours (we have a LESBIAN FRIEND, PEOPLE), an expat gay social group. Of course, the group was made up entirely of elderly English and American gentlemen, waiting to prey on lonely younger boys. So that wasn’t working either.

So finally, we decided to try the oldest trick in the book. We got whored up, went to the gayest bar we could find, with the biggest cups, the most guys and the cheapest alcohol, and waited for people to talk to us. And they did. And what did we learn?

Spanish people are brain-dead sex maniacs, too.

Monday, November 06, 2006

If Only There Were Another Gay Star Who Is A Heartthrob On A Primetime Drama Who Could Come Out...

We know we’re a little late on this, but news travels slowly across the Atlantic (gay news especially, as it prefers to doggy paddle), and Doogie Howser isn’t that culturally important here to begin with (who knew?). But the recent coming out of Neil Patrick Harris provides a nice counterpoint to the crystal-meth-with-an-aging-hooker Ted Haggard mess.

Harris was one of New York’s gay characters that we loved to see around. Unlike a Graham Norton or Alan Cumming, who would show splashily up to any event with whatever young thing they were fucking at the time (or looking for the next one), Harris just went out occasionally with his friends. Or with his very cute, appropriately-aged boyfriend. Fishwatch and Bigmouth saw them together at a Christina Aguilera concert (though Fishwatch barely remembers because he met Tim Gunn at that party and since then life has all seemed a little black and white). We also remember sitting behind him and the boyfriend at Broadway Bares and watch them giggle at all the male strippers, along with the rest of us.

After we saw him at Broadway Bares, we teased him a little for being closeted. But it appears he never really did deny being gay, or at least not recently.

Obviously, a lot more stories like Haggard’s are going to make a lot bigger headlines than ones about slightly obscure sitcom stars (even if “How I Met Your Mother” is a genius show). But every one that there is to counterbalance gross, messy confusing ones like Haggard’s or Mark Foley’s is a step in the right direction. Because at the end of the day, Americans spend more time watching evening television, or listening to pop music, than they do worrying about the personal lives of politicians and religious leaders.

Over here in Spain, there are a lot of reasons why gay marriage has reached a 70% approval rating. But one of the factors that all of the activists we’ve interviewed have mentioned was the presence of gay characters on television. Popular soaps included gay storylines, and successful game show hosts came out of the closet. This made being gay seem a lot more normal and inoffensive for TV viewers.

We can only hope the US begins to follow in this tradition more (“Will and Grace’s” writers are crafting a new gay sitcom, we hear…). And not just for the cause of gay rights. Check out the host of the American version of “Deal or No Deal:”

Now check out Jesus Vasquez, the host of the Spanish version. He’s openly gay, and married:

Don’t try to think about it too much. It hurts.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

We're Surprised This Isn't In the Thursday Styles Section...

The NYTimes DealBook has picked up on the gays on Wall Street thing, and found the perfect way to get the gays to read the post: posting a pic of a mysterious hottie. Apparently, he's the Credit Suisse "global equity derivatives and European equities head." Huh-huh. Head.

However, if we ran DealBook, we would have chosen other pictures to really emphasize the gay-ness. Maybe this one. Perhaps this is why we don't run DealBook. Also we have trouble with numbers, despite being of South Asian origin.

First one to date him wins a "Wall St. is the new Gay St." t-shirt. And free trips to Europe.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

It Is Called Wall Street Because There Was Once A Big Wall There. That's Also How Gay Street Got Its Name...

We remember once a year or two ago when we were out with a friend who was meeting up with some of her college peeps downtown. They were all i-banker types, and among them was a gay we knew. We'd seen him out and about at the usual watering holes - duves, poops, hiro, boys room, star-star, beige - you name it, he was there, drunk as a skank in his sleeveless tees, sticking his tongue in every gay man's mouth south of 21st street. We noticed he was a little uneasy in the group, but thought maybe he just fell off the speaker he was dancing on the night before. But when we were leaving, we leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, and boyfriend turned away! SNAP! He dissed us! No mwah mwah's allowed when you were out with your fellow i-bankers apparently.

Our friend later told us that he wasn't really out to his co-workers. "I-banks are really homophobic," she said, "they talk about sports and say 'that's so gay.'" We were curious as to how people can stay in the closet when they show up to work day after day with their hands smelling like go-go boy crotch, but then again, we don't work in finance.

So we are glad to hear that Wall Street is starting to reach out to the gays, making it a better, more open place to work. Because we all know what a hostile working environment can lead you to do.

Though our first job wasn't in finance, it was a block from Wall Street, so we too were worried about how to come out to our co-workers, and how they might react. This anxiety was cured on the first day, when in the 10am staff meeting, a cockroach fell from the ceiling onto the conference table, and we let out a high pitched scream and ran to the other end of the room, yes, still screaming. The senior vice president in the department grabbed the cockroach with his hand and threw him out the window, but the touching of the bug with the hand caused us to scream even more. But then we realized that we no longer had to make up a boyfriend to say, "we and our boyfriend went away for the weekend" to out ourselves. From the beginning, no one ever talked to us about sports. Goldman and Merrill types, take note.