Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Gay Bloggers Just Want Nice, Rich Lawyer Boyfriends.

Recently, Vividblurry made the controversial point that “All cute gays are secret psychos.”

We’re not sure what to make of this hard and fast rule. It made us think. We certainly know several men who live up to the standard…

But it inspired us to come up with our own list of offensive gay truisms that we’ve heard over the years. Some we agree with, some we don’t – but all of them have some basis, somewhere, in real experiences. Here goes:

1) Unnattractive gays are the most likely to believe that straight men are hitting on them.

2) Short gays are more muscley and try harder in bed.

3) English boys are pudgier. Irish boys are punchier.

4) Good karaoke singers are good bottoms.

5) Approximately 50% more gays say they are models than actually are.

6) German boys are serious and aggressive in bed. French ones are just slutty.

7) Minority gays don’t like to date members of their own race/religious group. This does not apply to Asians.

8) For most gays, intelligence isn’t a factor when choosing a mate. Hair is.

9) Europeans are more likely to rim on the first date.

10) Stage actor queens are bottoms. Film actor queens are tops.

11) Black gays are notorious liars.

12) Gay men over 40 can only date gay men under 30.

13) New Yorkers will fuck on the first date. Texans will masturbate next to you.

14) New Englanders give good cuddle. Californians give good head.

This one, though, is our favorite:

15) You’re only as hot as your last fuck.



LL said...

I don't understand how this is controversial. Don't we already end every sentence about our gay friends with the phrase: "But he's also crazy"?

Aatom said...

But straight guys really DO hit on me. all the time.


bigmouth said...

We should have clarified:

Boys who are half black aren't necessarily liars.

Gunn said...

Darn. I did get a little pudgy over the winter too.

lost in france said...

Thank goodness for those French boys! (I say that living in France.)

PopMuse said...

amazing, truly amazing!

Ned said...

So then how come this nice attractive very successful lawyer doesn't have a man in his life?