Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Why We Can Never Quit Our Job

We were recently on the phone with a very famous pre-op tranny hooker who runs an escort service in the square states. The highlights of our hourlong conversations were her side chats with a John who was trying to find his way to her house. ("NO HONEY, YOU TAKE A LEFT ON MACDOUGAL!") Once he arrived, she said she would call back in twenty minutes ("TIME ME, I DARE YOU!").

Sure enough, nineteen minutes later she called us back. ("HONEY, I'M A PROFESSIONAL.")

But our favorite part of the chat came earlier, when we overheard her giving her client directions.

"Oh, baby," she said, as an afterthought, "I will SWALLOW if you stop by a Starbucks and bring me a grande latte."

God Bless Fucking America.

2 comments:

LL said...

*Our* house?

bigmouth said...

Noted. Thank you, LL.

One of our more lovely and innocent friends asked whether the "starbucks" line was a joke. It was not - that was actually what he/she said to her client while on the other line.