Wednesday, August 16, 2006

This Very Same Thing Happened With "The Lizzie Maguire Movie." But That, Of Course, Was The Best Mistake We Ever Made.

So today we suffered from a phenomenon we suspect many other gays have encountered: Netflix shame.

We are generally pretty good about putting movies that want on our Netflix queue. We pick flicks that we've always wanted to see but know we'll never remember once we're in the store. But some days we get caught up in the mire of "Suggested Titles" and end up in a tailspin of softcore gay dramas. You know the kind - about the awkward summer camp arts and crafts teacher who is in love with the swimming counselor, and then, against all odds, they fall in love and also teach the young campers an important lesson about tolerance and voyeurism.

These movies end up on our list for various reasons - curiosity, vague workday horniness, and the ridiculous false hope that this one will have dialogue that feels like it was written by someone whose first language is English.

So today we got an email from Netflix letting us know that "Gone But Not Forgoton" was wending its way to our mailbox. This is the movie description:

"Drew (Aaron Orr) is a forest ranger who meets yuppie Mark (Matthew Montgomery) after he falls while rock climbing. Mark wakes up in the hospital with amnesia and sees that Drew has remained by his side since the accident. Drew offers to move in with Mark to help him out until he regains his memory, which propels the two men into a passionate affair. But things start to change as Mark's memory slowly returns. …"

In other words, "This film couldn't be gayer if it was packaged with track lighting, a fistful of poppers and a steelgrip dildo." Which is probably just about what we'lll need to make it through the whole thing.

3 comments:

Sam said...

Oh my gosh, I actually saw that. It's not bad, considering that it was apparently made with a budget of about $57.00, none of which went to lighting. When the sunlight starts to fade, you just hear disembodied voices. The two actors who engage in the "passionate affair" are really, really cute, though and there's one really hot scene.

Anonymous said...

Amazon's got me on the edge of my seat. Top billing goes to (wait for it):

Matthew Montgomery
as Mark Reeves

Joel Bryant
as Paul Parker

Daniel Lee
as Intern in Hallway

Gunn said...

Does this mean you'll be watching the provocatively titled 'Nine Dead Gay Guys'?