Sometimes, there are news articles that need no embellishment to achieve hysterical entertainment value. Take this one for example:
"Gay Jewish porn star Michael Lucas, 34, is to visit Israel at the end of the month to show solidarity and raise awareness of gay issues. Lucas who is the owner and star of Lucas Entertainment will be in Israel from August 29 to September 4 where he will be performing a live show with free admission to Israeli soldiers. "I am very proud to be going to my home away from home and entertain gay Israelis in a time of war," he said on his blog. "I will expose the reality that the people of Israel face right now, especially that of gay Israelis who are targeted by the hate of Hezbollah." His trip will be filmed as a documentary, and Lucas plans to shoot a gay porn film in the country."
No, that was not a joke. Michael Lucas has wisely realized what we should have known all along: that a deadly international conflict with roots in genocide, terrorism, and anti-Semitism can easily be solved with a little poorly-directed assfucking! After all, when we're watching a Lucasfilm movie, we have always found that in those quiet moments when we're tuning out the poor dialogue and pounding on the Fast Forward button, our thoughts always drift immediately to world peace.