The fags over at Not Only But Also have raised a very important question: In Brokeback Mountain, How Did Jake And Ennis Have Sex With No Lube?
“No wonder. Ennis, we know this is your first time and all but it takes a lot of magic lotion to get the rabbit into the hat. That Jack goes back for seconds and thirds without some serious consideration of fixing the friction is laughable. Didn't Ang consult any queers?”
We will admit that we, too, shifted uncomfortably in our seats at this moment – and not just to re-adjust the front of our jeans. Bitch, that had to HURT.
But we’d like to point out that for years we’ve been forced to watch many ridiculous and impossible straight sex scenes. For example:
* The rape/love scene between Sharon Stone and Fill-In-The-Blank Baldwin in “Sliver,” in which he sneaks up behind her and is suddenly inside her without her knowledge, ramming her against a pillar.
* The waterfall fuck scene between Kyle McLaughlin and Jessie Spano in “Showgirls.” Even we queers know sex in a chlorinated pool ain’t that great.
* The reverse cowboy situation between Sharon Stone and Catherine Zeta-Jones’ dad in “Basic Instinct.” If you think Jake Gyllenhaal was hurting…
So cut us some slack on the lube thing. After all, we remained quiet all those times in films when women had real orgasms even when they weren’t on top…