Wednesday, January 25, 2006

“You Can’t Handle The [Naked] Truth!”

We have lately been intrigued by a series of ads on other gay blogs for “David Rich Fitness Naked.”

While we knew a fitness video where the instructors (sexy Lewis Payton models) exercised naked was too much to hope for, we were pleasantly surprised to find out what they mean by that suggestive title. The guys, David Rich and Sean Harley, designed a workout program specifically targeted at making your body look good naked. Not to be strong, not to be huge, not to be better at sports - merely to look good without clothes. Which, to be perfectly honest, is why we work out. And we suspect we are not the only ones.

So when we came across this marketing plan, we were impressed. To hell with you, fitness celebrity John Basedow. These guys are speaking our language.

But then we noticed a highlighted quote, among pictures of men with ridiculous abdominals in impossibly small bathing suits:

“Fact: You want to look great Naked. Who doesn’t? People will treat you better, you’ll get more attention and more friends, a more fulfilling love life, you will feel great and get to live the life you’ve always wanted to live.” [Emphasis theirs]

Hm.

This is a little bit like in “A Few Good Men” when Jack Nicholson says: “You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall!” It’s a little too honest. We like to secretly think everything will get better when we look good naked, but we don’t want anyone to admit it. If we go on stripping bare the neuroses of gays, what’s next? Someone admitting that hilarious bitchiness is just a cover for massive insecurity?

Come on, let’s keep some of our cards to ourselves…

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