We Can’t Wait For When Kimberly Stewart Tries To Date One Of These Guys.

Gay TV channel LOGO is now casting for a pilot of a “Laguna Beach” type reality show, located in Provincetown. The camera will follow 8 to 10 P-town boys as the live, love and, presumably, tweak on the tip of Cape Cod for a summer. Here are the questions that prospective stars are supposed to answer as part of the interview process:

* Did you just break-up and need to get away for the summer?
* Have you heard that P-Town is a gay-friendly mecca and you'd like to get your feet wet?
* Do you work at a restaurant in P-Town and wonder what it'd be like to be on a TV show?
* Do you own a business on Commercial Street?

Which, we feel, is completely the wrong way to go about casting this show. If we were going to do a reality show about Provincetown on a gay network, our questionnaire would be something more like this:

* Did you just break-up, and will stop at NOTHING to get revenge?
* Have you heard that P-Town is a gay-friendly mecca and you want to get plunged more time than Wood’s Hole?
* Do you work at a restaurant in P-town and sell crystal on the side?
* Do you own a business on Commercial Street, and wonder what it would be like to murder people?

We would, of course, wait until the interview to find out the rest of the important information, like what was their favorite Melrose Place moment involving Kimberly, or roughly how many penises they fit inside their assholes at once...

We think this list would provide much higher quality television, in the end.