The Triangles And Bald Spots Were The Same Lovely Shade Of Pink.

This weekend, we missed Gay Pride. (For once "we" actually means "we." Fishwatch and Bigmouth were both in Napa Valley for a wedding). Instead of sitting on someone's roof in the West Village, sipping Pimms Cups and pretending to ignore the gyrating mass below us, we found ourselves seated at the edge of a willow-lined lake in the middle of a tiny vine-covered valley. Instead of sharing a joint with some other guys in polo shirts and flip flops and enjoying the faint feeling of smug superiority, we sat quietly in our suits and watched two straight friends exchange vows.

It made us wonder if we could really do it. Have you ever wondered that? If you could overcome the feeling of strangeness that even we, staunch marriage equality supporters, would feel following those rituals with another man. Would you feel, somehow, ridiculous? Would you feel like imposters? If equal marriage was not yet legalized, but you wanted to wed anyway, would it all feel like a childish farce?

This is really what we sat there thinking. And as we watched our friends get married, we wondered what our own loved ones would think if we had done the same thing. Would they feel strange, too? Would they be turning it over in their minds as they watched us walk down the aisle without the familiar chords of "Here Comes The Bride?"

The next day, we were driving back to the airport in San Francisco, and saw a giant pink triangle that the city had erected on a hill in honor of their own Pride celebration. San Francisco really goes all out for it - not just the gay people. A giant rainbow flag billowed across the front page of the Chronicle, for example, and much of the city was shut down for the march.

It made us remember what happened when we came out to our family years ago. By then our parents were divorced, and we told them separately. But we will never forget that our mother, father, brother and stepmother all said the same thing - that they were proud of us. Ever since then, on Gay Pride, we've kept that in mind. Sometimes having other people take pride in you is almost as important as having pride in yourself.

When we get married, whether it is legal or not, of course it's going to feel strange. It'll take a little extra chutzpah on our part, and on the part of our guests. But even if they feel a little bit weird watching us together in matching suits, exchanging rings, we're pretty sure our loved ones will also feel a little bit proud - that's why we love them.

For last year's slightly more eloquent take on Pride, see here.