Tuesday, June 12, 2007

We Would Have Gotten Laid At This Book Party If There Weren't So Many Women There Intent Upon Cock-Blocking.

So last week we went to our friend Tom Dolby’s party for the book he edited, “Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys.” Sadly we did not appropriately go with any of our galpals, but we did rope New York’s Jesse O. into being our date, which sort of counts. At the party we saw Tom and his dreamy boyfriend Drew F. (who we dated last year – yep, still awkward), and his lovable ex-boyfriend Monte A de L. We also saw Ariel Foxman, who we still want to bone even though he is 5’2” and unemployed, and preppy Justin Belmont, of APrivateClub.com.

The book is a funny (go buy it!) if somewhat disjointed take on gays and the women who love them. The funniest part about the evening was the entrance to the party. It was at Mantra on Second Ave and 52nd (if you’re from New York, you know what that means), right in the middle of heterosexual ground zero. To get to the gay gathering, you had to fight your way through a straight gauntlet to the back stairs. An excellent anthropological study, it was.

One of our favorite essays in the book is by “The Underminer” writer Mike Albo. In it, he coins the term “hag fag.” That is, the boy who flocks to the girls, rather than the other way around. “I have always been a hag fag,” he writes, “since the first grade when I hung upside down with my girl classmates on the jungle gym at recess rather than running around the playground trying to kill and destroy things.” And isn’t it true? Though you gays now may have a circle of women around you who secretly long to date you, didn’t it really begin with you seeking them out, because you didn’t fit in with the boys? Didn’t they take you in, first? It’s really something to think about.

…But not right now. There’s a boy coming over in half an hour and we’re going to get laid, so stop bothering us with your girl problems and let us call you tomorrow and brag about how we scored.

3 comments:

Patsy said...

Hmmmm this is a thinly veiled jab from our fight last night isn't it.

Patrick said...

I swore off needy women when I turned 30.

Anonymous said...

ariel foxman??? um......