Wednesday, February 14, 2007

These Posts Of Ours Are Starting To Get A Bit Depressing, No? Whatever, You Were Feeling This Today Too...

We escaped from the library today to go to the dentist. (Not exactly Bryant Park during Fashion Week, but we'll take what we can get). We happened to be on the subway as high schools got out, and saw hundreds of little people walking around in red, holding flowers and cards and kissing each other. Awwwww.

At the dentist's office, the hottie x-ray technician came out into the waiting room and starting talking to a patient who was a friend of his. They spoke in Hebrew, and, though we grew up on Long Island and our bus was the one that stopped near Hebrew school, AND though our social life peaked at age 13, which means we can recite a lot of haftarah portions, we were unable to understand what they were saying. But we did manage to hear "J-Date" about 16 times. Apparently they had plans tonight. Awwwwww. With girls. Ewwwwww.

We consoled ourselves by noting that we could not possibly have made plans tonight, as our mother gets in to town and we have to entertain her. We've spent days laughing about our mom being our valentine. Laughter through tears is our favorite emotion.

But now even our Mom has ditched us. Something about snow and ice and planes not working. Add to this news that we have a cavity, AND the fact that we were yelled at by the dentist for lying on the "when did you last see a dentist" question, and V-day 2007 might just be the worst one yet.

One February 15th in College, we heard (through our dorm room fire door) a large lesbian say to her friend, "The besht part about Valentinshes Day, ish that the nexsht day, ALL THE CANDY ISH HALF OFF!" This has been our motto ever since. Which makes the cavity news all the more painful.

On the bright side, at least we get to go back in a couple of months for more x-rays. See y'all on J-Date.


Anonymous said...

The lesbian you described reminds me of Jodie Foster. I've often wondered why Ms Foster speaks the way she does, e.g. "Yesh shir" for "Yes sir", as if she had a not insignificant speech impediment that was regrettably left uncorrected. I've also often wondered why she's considered such a good, er, Thespian.

Anonymous said...

I happened to see some young children buying valentines for their significant others, as well. While two perused the teddy bears in the shop the third screamed into her phone repeatedly, "if you don't get me no fucking valentine, I'll fucking kick yo ass. you better git me a fucking valentine. ain't okay if you don't get me no fucking valentine." And so on, and so on, and so on. Ah, true love, New York style.

Anonymous said...

you know your a loser, when the highlight of your V day was getting a cupcake from the dean of your law school

Jonathan Lehman said...

Oh bright college years... Satin sheets, Elizabeth. She left me!