Thursday, July 27, 2006

And While We're At It, Can We Talk About That Whole Garter Thing....?


So sorry for not posting yesterday. Many very important firsts happened in our life: we went on a date with our very first short gay, we woke up early to go to the gym, we considered dating a friend for his apartment, and of course, that fag from 'N Sync gave publications other than blogs something to quickly forget about.

But what we meant to talk about yesterday was this wedding we went to over the weekend. The night before the ceremony, the groom, a very old friend, pulled us aside and said that "all the gays would be seated together." He said it with a wink, as if he were doing us a favor because it would be more fun that way. We laughed and brushed it aside.

Only later, at the reception, did we think about it. What if he had said, "All the JEWS will be seated together"? Or, "All of the BLACKS will be seated together"?

And, aside from the offensiveness of it all (one of the gays was FAT!), it's just a waste to have all the gays at one table. The whole reason you invite them to your wedding in the first place is to keep table-wide meaningless banter moving along at a snappy pace. And to dance with lonely wives whose husbands are too drunk or boring.

Not to mention the fact that we do your wedding planning, hair, makeup, flower design, catering and dance lessons. Wow. We just realized - if you ever let us concentrate on marrying eachother, you straight people are really FUCKED.

4 comments:

Gunn said...

Ditto for the wedding I was at this weekend, apart from me, but I'm a family member. However, the gay table seemed to prefer things that way and stuck together for the entire reception. They provided an entertaining spectacle on the dance floor whenever there was a lull in conversation.

Myackie said...

When my best friend (female) got married, her in-laws paid for about 15 people, including me, to spend the weekend at a beautiful resort hotel.

My friend's new husband goes up to the front desk at the hotel and tells them "my wife's friend over there is a homo-sexual...is there anyplace for him to meet men in this town?"

To this day (15 years later) I still think of him as my best friend's husband and not as my friend.

Anonymous said...

It's true...when you substitute the word 'gays' in that sentence for any other group of people, it only serves to emphasize just how inconsiderate that move was, and bigoted.

Also true about the convo moving along at a snappy pace. I recently attended a good friend's wedding in Miami Beach and was seated at a table with a gay friend of hers...I don't think any other table full of people laughed nearly as much as we did.

KMZ said...

The gay table (like Kentucky): it's _that_ friendly.