Wednesday, May 23, 2007

And On Tuesday, God Created Beige...

Father: Wow! I just love it here at the Creation Museum, a $27 million, 60,000 square foot museum created by the Answers in Genesis ministry that combines displays of extraordinary nautilus shell fossils and biblical tableaus, celebrations of natural wonders and allusions to human sin!

Mother: I know! Finally the world is being shown as it really is, without the distortions of secularism and natural selection.

Junior: Also, these matching tie-dye shirts are awesome! Great idea Mom!

Young Jimmy: Dinosaurs on the Ark? WTF? What are these people talking about? This whole place is quite unsettling. Also, these shirts are NOT awesome, I can't believe all my friends are going to see this on the Times website.

Daughter: Whatever, at least you can be seen. This chick with the mom jeans and 1999 digicam is totally in my way.

Young Jimmy: Mom jeans? Bitch please, we are wearing matching tie-dye.

Father: Quiet Jimmy! The tie-dye is amazing. Also, the Earth is barely 6,000 years old, dinosaurs were created on the sixth day, and Jesus is the savior who will one day repair the trauma of man’s fall!!!!!!

Mother: Yes Jimmy. If you start accepting evolution or an ancient Earth, moral dissolution is imminent! You can end up like that teenager in that model home over yonder, sitting at his computer, whom we are told is looking at images of nude women.* I can't imagine anything worse.

Young Jimmy: Ummmm, I can.**

*This is not a joke.
**NSFW, obvs.

1 comment:

Gunn said...


This is straight from my childhood.