Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Does Anybody Know What Kind Of Beer Straight People Drink? Whenever We Order A Stella At A Sports Bar, We Get Looks.

We’re sorry we didn’t blog Friday or yesterday. We meant to, but our travel schedules got in the way. We went up to Maine for the holiday weekend. Going up, our Greyhound bus (please, it’s hard for us to even talk about it) broke down, not once, but TWICE, such that we ended up waiting in the 90 degree heat on the side of the highway in Connecticut for another, random Peter Pan bus to pick us up and drive us, via several unscheduled cities, to Boston. This also involved sitting, for an hour, next to a homeless man drinking a forty. We obviously would have found this adorable, had he not been covered in scabs.

Our big news is that our straight older brother is coming to visit us this weekend, so we now have to start making plans. He’s a very good sport about gaytivities like shopping trips and Slip ‘n’ Slides, but we’re a bit worried about taking him somewhere like Mr. Black after dark. We can just see him getting swarmed by 18-year-old NY students, who will hang onto his arms and legs as he tried to escape, wearing him down eventually until he collapses under their weight, roaring, just before he reaches the door – sort of like the Sandman in Spiderman III.

Anyone have any fun gay/straight weekend suggestions – like packing a picnic basket for a Mets game? Or cruising for chicks on the Christopher Street Pier? Because if we don’t think of something soon, we’re going to end up doing Broadway karaoke at Brother Jimmy’s in Murray Hill, and nobody wants that.

4 comments:

Frank said...

"90 degree head" Sounds kinky!

MattGaymon said...

Barcade in Billyburg. Artisanal beers, Ms Pacman AND Duckhunt, and one of the only sexually mixed crowds in NYC that actually knows how to smile (Misshapes anyone?)

Anonymous said...

www.thrillist.com - straight land . . . shiver

Zeke said...

I took mine to a music concert he wanted to go to.

He did not like me hitting on the guy i scalped tickets to...