We Wonder If They Will Ever Make A Documentary About Our Genre of Gays. You Know, Self-Impressed Ones.

Something amazing came in the mail this week - the DVD documentary "Mr. Leather." We did not order it, but rather it was sent as part of a press release. We swear.

On Sunday morning, we sat down with our roommate and some tea to see if it was worth watching. Neither of us are particularly interested in leather (though we have always wondered what the purpose of those chest harnesses is - do they attach to something?) so we didn't expect it to be entertaining.

Boy, were we wrong. The movie follows several contestants from Los Angeles area leather bars as they get ready to compete for the (allegedly) coveted title of Mr. LA Leather. The insights into their lives, romances, and struggles for victory was an peek into a world that we never would have expected would be so... precious.

Some choice lines from the movie:

• On real estate: "I have a sling in my bedroom. I don't have a lot of dungeon space. I have a one-bedroom apartment."
• ON S&M: "People can get fucked up, and then someone winds up dead."
• On lifestyle choices: "We're the stinky couple in Palm Springs."
• On landscape architecture: "We fucked on the rock next to the jacuzzi. I leaned against it."
• On the tough questions of the competition: "You're lassie in an S&M scene. Go!"
  
• On stupid human tricks: "He popped a pool ball out of his ass."
• On ambition (spoken by a doctor): "The anal canal is made to withstand only so much."
• On x-raying gay patients who come in with objects lodged up their ass (spoken by same doctor): "The X-ray showed a little lady in a big hoop skirt. It was a bottle of Aunt Jemima pancake syrup, which he insisted had fallen up there when he was cleaning the counter."
• On the contest itself: "It's sort of like American Idol."
• On one contestant's hobbies: "His interests include flogging, ass play, puppies, fisting, abduction..."

We're sorry, PUPPIES? Man, being gay is so confusing.