Maybe It's Just In Your Mysterious "File."

We went to our doctor’s yesterday and were reminded about how much we love her. She never wrote down that we’re gay, but every time we ask for an STD test, she looks us up and down and says: “You have sex with … men ... yes?” (She’s Swedish). How come doctors always seem to be able to tell you’re a fag? Everybody who goes for their annual exam is wearing the same outfit (basically nothing). There’s not really much opportunity for banter or flirting (we had a gay doctor before and it was NOT HOT AT ALL. (That may be because we used to go to the Chinatown Free Clinic)). So how do they always know? We bet after performing so many testicular exams, they can just tell. When we are squeezing a guys bayools, we can always sense whether he's gay, also.

Our doctor is amazing because she gives great advice, like “Don’t brush or floss before sex with a stranger, it may open sores in your mouth, which makes you more susceptible to contracting STDs,” “If you wear gym socks it will hide the fact that one of your ankles is fatter than the other,” and “Smoking doesn’t make you sexy, Fagat.”

Other than that, nothing to report on this sunny Friday. Oh, except: Vote Brown – Thomas Bowman for White House Hottie!