Were You Worried We Didn’t Have Enough People Being Mean To Gays?

We have a troubled history with our faggy cousin, Gayz Of Our Lives. But we feel we must defend them in this particular situation, because they ARE family, and they have been fucked with. If we were a powerful black woman, right now we would say “Don’t MAKE me put my baby down!”

See, Gayz has been picked on by the pimply bully of the gay blog playground, I Probably Hate You. He called the residents of the fun Gayz Fire Island house ugly. They are not.

You remember the awkward kid who hit puberty first and was bigger and fatter than everyone else on the tire swings? That’s IPHY. His MO is to pick on everyone and everything around him. Sometimes he is funny. Most of the time he is just mean. And quite frankly, that’s boring.

Allow us to tell you about the time when we met dear Rocco, who writes IPHY. We were at Beige, with our friend Dylan. This fat guy in a football sweatshirt (yes, you read that correctly) came up and introduced himself. He expected us to know who he was. We did not. He said “I write this blog called ‘I Probably Hate You,’ it’s very popular.” Not with us. “I write about you and Hot Boy Posse sometimes,” he said to Dylan, somewhat eagerly. “I thought you’d hate me.”

Dylan, completely nonplussed, shrugged it off and said it was nice to meet him. Rocco, all in a tizzy because he didn’t get a reaction out of Dylan, kept coming back to talk to him. Eventually, it became clear that Rocco was awkwardly seeking his approval.

So we later went to read what he said about Dylan and HBP, and it was pretty harsh. All in all, classic bully maneuvers. Be cruel to others, when all you really want is to be popular. Hey, who does that remind us of, lately?

Which brings us to our conclusion: In the gay bar of life, the Bush Administration is the fat guy in the football sweatshirt.