Thursday, March 02, 2006

This Is Worse Than That Time That They Cut Off The End Of "24" Because Of Football

We're so sorry we haven't been posting. It's been quite an eventful week for us. Today we came down from a four day nerve/adrenaline rush and fell asleep on our keyboard.

We think you all should be aware of a potential disaster that has occured for the gay community. No, we're not talking about the fact that people now identify us with Clay Aiken. It's worse:

The Dylan has broken his cell phone.

Take a deep breath. Sit down. Have some Poland Spring mineral water and an Emergen-C.

If you have to ask who "Dylan" is, or what is "last name" might be, you're clearly the kind of person who is allowed to donate blood in the US. And you shouldn't be reading this blog. Dylan's phone had a whopping 1800 numbers in it. We didn't even know that was possible. 1700 of them belong to cute boys. It was a nexus of gay - sort of like the Barney's Warehouse sale, but digital.

GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF PEOPLE! NO NEED TO PANIC! We all just need to calm the FUCK down around here.

Now, there is a chance the numbers from his phone can be retrieved. There is a chance that the party will go on. There's a chance, that through the work of a grumpy Arab phone technician who is working frantically this very minute, that this center of the gay universe can be brought back to life.

All we can do is hold our breath, and pray to Allah. It should be easy - you're all on your knees at least five times a day anway.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Okay, I'll bite (behind my cowardly anonymity). Who i Dylan? And can I steal his (hopefully recoverable) phone?

Taylor said...

my interest is piqued, too.

it must be a NY thing. I've done time in Atlanta, now DC, and I'm still out of the loop ...

Sir Winston Thriller said...

Pay no attention to the Dylan. No one else does.

Anonymous said...

why does everyone care about dylan so much. i see that guy everywhere. maybe he should take a night off.

billy said...

what exactly does he do anyway? i heard he flies around all the time on a jet. i've seen him at parties, but never talked to him.

Anonymous said...
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