We Would Have Gone To The Met, But We Used That Up The Last Time A Friend Got Engaged.

On Saturday afternoon we went with a group of friends to the “BODIES” exhibit at South Street Seaport.

It was very compelling/educational/revolting, and we enjoyed it until we got to the “Fetus” section, at which point we felt our eyes wandering. At first we thought it was the Freak-Show style aborted babies in jars that caused our distraction, but we quickly realized it was something quite different: the museum gallery was filled with strikingly hot gay men. Who were cruising like it was going out of style!

We were unable to concentrate for the rest of the exhibition because of all of the eyeball pingpong. What on earth could have brought all that man candy to such an informative and scientific show? To better understand how to tone their muscles? To giggle at the fun-sized Asian penises on display? To help them figure out where exactly is the prostate” (we swear we overheard the younger half of a gay couple exclaim “I TOLD you!” as they both examined the appropriate slice of Chinese.)

Then we remembered why WE were there. Because, lacking children, a spouse, a pet, or wedding plans, we wanted to have something to talk about at cocktail parties other than our job. We can see it now:

MARRIED COUPLE: Did we tell you we’re pregnant?!!?

FAGAT: Your baby right now is the size of a Raisinette, and looks like a Beaker, the scientist Muppet.

MARRIED COUPLE: We wonder where the bar is.