We Know We’ve Said This Before, But Our Next Ex-Boyfriend Will Definitely Be A Dancer

Last night we took the opportunity to go see “Broadway Bares” at Roseland Ballroom, along with every other gay in the city. (FYI – If you are trying to reach us, we will be at the gym for the rest of our lives). But for those who didn’t, here’s a rundown of the highlights:


• Naked male acrobats spinning in the air in a giant steel hula hoop, to the tune of “Hung Up.”
• Mario Cantone singing “New York, New York” with 200 nearly naked dancers as his back up.
• The cast of Jersey Boys claiming “All straight men wear matching suits with sequined lapels!” and then proceeding to rape (off stage) the Barrett Foa from “Avenue Q.”
• Josh Strickland, the hot male lead from Tarzan, getting all of his clothes sliced off by female construction workers.
• An all male (strikingly accurate) knock-off version of the Rockettes, who ended up nude and knocked down by a cum cannon.
• Fran Drescher, acting like a drag queen.
• A rendition of “True Colors” performed by Cyndi Lauper, which ended with her ripping off her coat to reveal nothing underneath but sparkly pasties, fishnets, and a giant pink strap-on.

Our favorite role of the night, though, would have to be the one played by Neil Patrick Harris. Sitting in front of us with a close male friend, Doogie played the role of “Closeted Voyeur.”