Monday, February 20, 2006

We're Sorry We Were Gone For The Weekend, But Thanks For All The Dirty Text Messages

We know, being gay, that cruel humor at other people's expense is a little bit unoriginal. Cliched, if you will. A cop out - like getting your trick to jerk himself off so you can finally get some fucking sleep. Easy - like you, after we feed you two vodka sodas and tell you that your eyes are pretty.

But we just had to say something about this. Boy George, the only 80's pop star currently living in drag and in exile (oh, wait), is opining on the subject of gay marriage:

"Gay unions, what is that all about? I haven't been invited to any ceremonies and I wouldn't go anyway. The idea that gay people have to mimic what obviously doesn't work for straight people anymore, I think is a bit tragic.

"I'm looking forward to gay divorces."

You know what, George? We're done, thanks. If anyone ever overextended their welcome, it's you. In exchange for ONE listenable ironic novelty song, we have had to put up with your unending presence at our Thursday night parties, your appalling Broadway show, your nauseating fashion lines, and the constant reminder that gay stars don't burn out, they just turn fat and deplorable.

We're no experts, but when your greatest achievement in life is to be the only aging gay British singer MORE detestable than Elton John and George Michael, it might be time to just cut your losses and give up.

Perhaps by hoovering up, all at once, the ten kilos of cocaine you have hidden under your bed.

With your massive, vacuum-like asshole.


bigmouth said...

Isn't it funny that it's only when we're NOT drunk that these posts get so bitter?

LL said...

Are you really posting the first comment on your own blog?

And didn't BG give us TWO ironic and kitchy songs?