Friday, July 13, 2007

Far. She’s Been Traveling Far. Without A Home - But Not Without A Star.

Amazing. We just got a sneak preview of Victoria Beckham’s one-hour special, “Victoria Beckham, Coming to America.” Rather than moving to Queens and working at McDowells, she moves to LA and sits by the pool.

We wanted to hate her, and sort of did throughout the first few minutes of the show. But after a while, her positive attitude about America and moments of dry humor really won us over. We think the gays will really like her.

Things we learned about Victoria include:

1) She knows how to smile and actually looks cute doing so.
2) She knows that people wonder why the hell she doesn’t smile, yet makes no effort to change (As she walks out of a Coffee Bean, after confronting Perez Hilton at his “office,” she says quietly, “I’m leaving, got to get depressed,” before she changes her expression to her trademark pout for the cameras.
3) She is still touchy about her husband’s infidelity (when an assistant asks whether she will have to do any work for her husband, Victoria stonily asks, “Why, would you like to? Do you find him attractive?”)
4) Her boobs are fake, and they’re spectacular.

We’re totally on team VB. We’re already practicing, per her advice, to make a face like an inflatable sex doll next time we see the paparazzi.

4 comments:

Zeke said...

damn even your write up makes me like her more... I was hoping for a nemesis.

travellingstatic said...

she epitomizes the spice girls. at first you kind of wanted to hate them. the poppy, vacuous schlock they peddle--you could do without it.

however the happy silliness wins you over and you find yourself a decade later looking at all avenues of finding tour tickets.

Anonymous said...

McDowells?

Patrick said...

I wonder if I will run into them at Target or something.