Thursday, September 14, 2006

You Should Get This Book For Your Cousin in High School Who Likes Musical Theater and The Dixie Chics...

The Thursday Styles Section does not disappoint today with yet another article that has little to do with Fashion and Style and a lot to do with Gay.

We were very sad not to see our alma matter among the schools with the top "Gay Point Averages" in The Advocate College Guide for LGBT Students. With 20 being the top score, the results were as follows:
20: University of Pennsylvania; University of Southern California

19: American University; Ohio State University; Princeton; Pennsylvania State University; University of California, Berkeley; University of California, Los Angeles; University of Minnesota, Twin Cities; University of Oregon; University of Puget Sound

18: Duke; Indiana University; Oberlin College; Stanford; Tufts University; University of California, Santa Cruz; University of Michigan

17: New York University; University of Massachusetts, Amherst
We are quite curious how a school with more than 14 a cappella groups and 12 secret societies doesn't have a "gay point average" of at least 26. Other evidence for fuzzy math involved in this study is the fact that OHIO STATE and DUKE got more points than NYU. Have these people ever BEEN to Heaven's 18+ night? Did they ever try and get a drink at Pop Rocks' open bar back when that party happened? Is this "gay point average" based on how many hot athletes you can drug and lure back to your dorm with promises of straight porn?

When reviewing colleges, the guide "also has a 'Fun Queer Stuff to Know' box that includes information like 'best LGBT-cool athletic sport' and 'best LGBT-accepting religious/spiritual organization.'"

We think it would be far more useful to know things like "best room in the gym to find the closeted boys on the crew team making out" and "best way to clean the blood off the sheets after you take someone's virginity." Also "best mints to use to freshen your breath after puking in the middle of a hook up when you are not ready to go home yet" would have come in handy one or two times.

3 comments:

bigmouth said...

Literally, every single one of the ideas in the last paragraph of this post happened to us. Amazing. Depressing.

Anonymous said...

Yeah I know, how could Yale not be in there somewhere. Shocking.

Gunn said...

Wasn't that the point of this paragraph, Bigmouth?