Last night at wedding event #19232, the groom to be's twin sister introduced us to a friend of hers from her secondary school, and we noticed a slight smirk on her very, very drunk face. We immediately understood what was going on. "He makes independent films," she giggled as we shook his hand.
Back in the smokers' corner, she asked us what we thought of him. "We're pretty sure he's gay," we responded, "but not 100%. The accent is throwing us off." "But he gave up banking for the movies and theater!" she yelled. "OK," she slurred. "I'll ask him." We thought she was kidding, natch.
We tried to stop her, but she asked him. Point blank. "Do you like boys or girls? My cousin likes boys." We tried to change the subject. He avoided the answer. Then he immediately left the party.
Back in the smokers' corner, she was trying to convince us that this was acceptable behavior. "I've been dying to know since grade school!" she yelled as we tried to get rotis in her stomach to soak up the absolut before the bride's family saw her and called the whole thing off a la Bend It Like Beckham. We did the whole "you can't ask someone who isn't ready" speech, and "it's not about you, it's for him to deal with," but she was having none of it. She has already asked the DJ for event #19234 to play all of Confessions on a Dance Floor to see if he sings along. And then we wondered if this was the same thing as asking someone outright if he's a mo. Maybe he'll stay this time.