Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Awesome and Awesomer.

It’s times like these when we shake our fists at the gods and cry: “Why don’t we have a better understanding of html!?”

We have just intercepted an invitation to the FIRST EVER, National Convention Of The Hot Boy Posse!!!

Yes, you read that correctly.

If you don’t know what the Hot Boy Posse is, you’re either a) way behind or b) not an aging prepster and have better things to worry about. Either way, it’s not worth explaining – the name pretty much says it all. But the email is a four page Acrobat guide to a weekend in Los Angeles during which Hot Boys (not just any hot boys, mind you – CAPITALIZED Hot Boys) will gather, copulate, and then awkwardly exchange business cards and bicker over whose ribbon belt is really from J. McLaughlin.

Here are highlights from the email, which we couldn’t figure out how to post in its ab-tastic entirety:

Los Angeles, CA – Jan. 13-16, 2006
YOU are invited to participate in the BIGGEST, the BEST, and the
FIRST ever NATIONWIDE HBP PARTY event in history!!!
What is HBP Weekend?
In our humble (and highly-biased!!!) opinion, few things compare to the
EXCITEMENT and HYPE that fill the air when a group of successful,
attractive gay boys get together. There have been many smaller scale events
in past, but HBP Weekend represents the first ever targeted mass gathering
of gay boys from every major city from COAST TO COAST!!!
Put quite simply, we have NEVER been so EXCITED about one of our
events!!!

TRANSLATION: We think EXTREME PUNCTUATION and CAPITALIZATION will emphasize how tweaked everyone will be all weekend! (!!!)

If you plan to stay at either [designated] hotel, you are encouraged to make your hotel reservation NOW before others catch notice and potentially book up
availability.


TRANSLATION: Let’s try to take over both hotels. In past experience, other hotel guests tend to grow annoyed at all the slippery doorknobs.

Are couples welcome? Couples are welcome and encouraged to attend!!! If for any reason you are dating someone who did not receive an official invitation, please notify us so that he may be extended a formal invitation.

TRANSLATION: If you are dating someone ugly, never fear. There is a reserved petting zoo area.

We’re really, REALLY sorry we couldn’t upload the pictures (or the edited spoof version, which deserves the Pulitzer), but we’ll keep working on it. Email us or post comments with suggestions.

2 comments:

A. Truth said...

COUPLES will be SEPARATED UPON ARRIVAL and given PSYCHOTRPOIC DRUGS to ENCOURAGE WANDERING.

kevin bin laden said...

i only hate it because i wasn't invited.
perhaps our own FAGAT should plan an east coast version of the la hbp. except he chould call it a HOT PARTYING VICTUALS, or, HPV.