Tuesday, November 29, 2005

And Don't Even Get Us Started On Nathan Lane. Now THERE'S A Fine Piece Of Ass...

Did anyone else notice how today Liz Smith jizzed all over the crop of actors who played gay this year? Was that weird?

* In "The Dying Gaul," Peter Sarsgaard appears as a struggling gay screenwriter who falls for a married studio executive. We also have "Rent," as a movie musical with its plethora of gay and transvestite roles.

* Then there is Philip Seymour Hoffman, who is playing the famously gay writer Truman Capote in the film "Capote." He is a certain shoo-in for an Oscar nod.

* Another role causing "excitement" is that of Cillian Murphy as a transvestite in "Breakfast on Pluto." (Why is excitement in quotes? Does she really mean “erections?” Even we don’t get this innuendo.)

Woah there, Dykey McTranTran. Just because Cynthia McFadden dumped you doesn’t give you an excuse to start digging into our mancady jar.

But the headline on stories about most "gay movies" should read: "No Straight Actors Have Been Harmed in the Making of This Film." Male homosexuality is certainly the last real-life taboo for real-life male actors. And away from the bright lights of showbiz and the cosmopolitan big cities, what does it all mean for gay men and women across red-state America? Not as much as you might hope.

Now we'll see if Oscar, nervously naked, drops his sword for any of the above-mentioned as winners.

Liz Smith – the Confucius of Carpet Munchers.

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