This Is What Happens When You Haven't Slept Around In A Long Time. You Have Nothing To Blog About.

We found this fairly innocuous story on the San Francisco Chronicle's Daily Dish website. It's about how Heather Mills asked for a gay partner on "Dancing with the Stars," because so many dating rumors have swirled around her since her split with Paul McCartney.

But Mills didn't get her wish, "Jonathan turned up and I said, 'Well, he doesn't look gay,' and I said, 'Are you gay?' And he said, 'No, I'm not, I'm married. ...' He's just a great person."

Wow, you can be a straight person and still be great?

Anyway, it's sort of a lame story, until you read the comments. Unlike the half wits who see fit to post on PerezHilton or the Us Weekly blog, the readers of the Chronicle have something witty to say:

* No wonder she's missing a leg. Every time she opens her mouth, she shoves her foot in deeper.
* "Uni-peg looking for bi dancer. -HM."
* When asked about Mills' comments, Roberts replied, "Yeah, well I wanted a partner with two legs, but what are ya gonna do?"
* Half of California wants a gay guy, Heather. The other half of California is gay.
* What a twat!

We wonder what we've come to now that we've begun to think that the mere use of the word "twat" is clever.