Best State Of Mind: Denial

We know you've been waiting with baited breath for someone else to tell you what's cool - and now finally, you can rest easy. The New York Blade has declared that Hell's Kitchen is New York's sweetest gay neighborhood in their annual ranking of what's hot in gaytown. Boy were WE looking in the wrong place. Here's what they have to say:

These days, you’re likely to see as many Chelsea boys tippling at Barrage and Therapy as xl or Splash. It’s not that Chelsea’s over; rather, that HELL’S KITCHEN has finally come into its own as a gay ghetto. But Ninth Avenue isn’t the new Eighth Avenue. HK has a style all its own — a little grittier, more street. Or maybe not. But don’t call it Clinton!

We don't know what the hell they're talking about with Clinton, (or tippling for that matter - does it involve VCR cleaner?) but this is a great relief. We were very concerned that 9th Avenue was going to become the new 8th Avenue. We almost lost as much sleep as that time we heard Asian was the new Hispanic.

Other highlights of this scientific ranking include:

*Best Men’s BarStaff pick: Gym Sports Bar (or Eagle)
*Best PartyStaff pick: Alegria (or Krash Chelsea)
*Best Promoter: John Blair and Mark Nelson
*Best Late Night: Cafeteria

We are very grateful for this poll, which taught us the following things:

*The readers and editors of the New York Blade have a median age of 75.
*The readers and editors of the New York Blade have never been east of 6th Avenue.
*We don't know any readers or editors of the New York Blade.
*We are so very young and twinky.