Radar Online attempted this week to lump together all of the disparate rumors about gays in the Bush administration into one story... about how a story should be written about all of the disparate rumors of gays in the Bush administration. The point of the article, written by blogger/outer John Aravosis, is not that these people are gay - it's that someone should write about whether they are gay or not.
We've heard all of the rumors. People say such naughty things: Secretary of State Condi Rice munches box. RNC National Chairman Ken Mehlman prefers it in the pooper. Harriet Miers slaps backs (we WISH we knew how that worked). Everybody and my mother has heard them. So why, Aravosis cries, are only the bloggers writing about them?
The answer is simple: they're not. Not even cock-mouthed blogger Mike Rogers has outed, convincingly, one of those characters. Because as far as speculation goes, there just isn't sufficient evidence. So far, no woman has admitted sampling Condi's sweet, sweet yellowcake. Not one man confessed to making a unilateral thrust on Mehlman's governing compound.
And so far, no ladies have admitted to fucking Harriet Miers' floppy vag with a veiny strap-on.
But hey, when that happens, will someone send us an email? Fagats@gmail.com. We'll trade you Eve's sex tape.