Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Can Someone Please Explain To Us Why CTU Is In Los Angeles And Not DC?

This weekend we traveled down to Washington DC with LL to visit the panoply of gays arrayed there. While we appear to have been added to some sort of TSA security watch list (our tickets now have a special code on them that appears to mean: “ANALLY PROBE THOROUGHLY”), and LL lost his driver’s license in security, we arrived in one piece and were picked up by the gallant Cub B., who was still wearing his sexy beard.


Highlights of the weekend included:

  • Being taken to the sex lair of FHC, which is, as you would expect, more full of antique WASP kitsch then a St. A’s basement. We suspect just as many “initiation rituals” take place there, as well.
  • Stopping by the Diner just long enough to tell Nick D. he is a bad person.
  • Ending up at Apex, where we talked to a lovely 18-year-old Australian and the LL-look-alike FHC keeps complaining about. (Someone told us not to hook up with him, even though he is a “great fuck.” Later in the night, said person made out with the look-alike.)
  • Getting abandoned by LL and FHC to the shirtless freshmen and “Promiscuous Girl” dance remixes at Apex.
  • Rescuing Cub B. from the twinks waiting in line outside of Apex, after he incited their ire by accidentally calling them “insipid” while having a private phone conversation with Kevin G. We don't blame him - who knew they would recognize that word?
  • A brief visit to Be Bar for a reunion of the ex-boyfriends of Alex S.
  • A brief, fruitless wait in the line at Cobalt, where the same obscene group of twinks again scared us to run to the safe haven of McDonalds.
  • Watching hundreds of leather daddies in their natural state (laced, strapped or zipped up) milling about near a hotel where there was a leather convention.
  • Two trips to the theater to see "Pan's Labrynth" and "Children of Men," both of which left us shaken, a bit wiser, and totally afraid of child-eating monsters with eyes in their hands.

Though we did not check off most items on our list, we were excited to spend time with our friends, re-discover some of the positive aspects of Ben T., and remind ourselves of why the DC gay terrain is treacherously incestuous. All in all, it's a great city to visit. After all, if you haven't fucked it, it's new to you!

3 comments:

Frank said...

You do know that FHC can't be a WASP, right? He's French; to call him an Anglo-Saxon Protestant is just all kinds of wrong. Unless that's your intention. No greater insult to a Frenchman than to imply that he's English. Kudos!

bigmouth said...

That's the whole point. He's not a WASP. He bought it all on eBay!

Russ W. said...

Mmm, that is the last time I tell you my inner most secrets then splurge and buy you a Bud Lite!