We're Like That Boy Who Keeps Texting You Despite The Fact That You Have Ignored Him For Weeks...

We are back from the South, and overall, it was a mind-numbingly relaxing time. While we were there, only two people tried to set us up with their daughters. (In the straight world, apparently "Law School" gets you points).

"He's taken," our mother told them, which we would love to be true, but last we checked, it's not. While our mother has gone to PFLAG meetings and brings up Nate Berkus whenever an opportunity to do so comes up, she apparently isn't ready to tell the 51-62 year old Indians of North Carolina about her son's interest in c*ck and bum fun. Some of you may find that this directly contradicts with the fact that she still brags about our a cappella and musical theater triumphs of the early 2000s, but we don't think the Indians below the Mason-Dixon line quite see it that way just yet.

Regardless, it reminded us of the layers of shame that linger with parents long after the coming out discussion, especially in some immigrant and minority communities where people assume the gays just don't exist. We can't blame our parents for this -- not only are they are the new kids on the block in a more conservative place, but they are also the product of their upbringing, which involved strict adherence to social and cultural norms. That being said, the friends of our parents who do know that we kiss boys and not girls don't seem to give two shits (one even tried to set us up with a boy (use accent here) "from a very good family"). We decided early on to leave it entirely to our folks to tell who they want when they want among their friends, which we think was the right decision, but one that sometimes leaves us conflicted when _____ auntie and ______ uncle still ask us about girls and we do that evasive thing you all mastered at some point in your life.

In other news, we really love being abnormally small and manorexic because this means that after you fatties are done buying up premium denim at Barneys Coop, the size 28s and 29s that are left over are sold for 1/3 the price, at which point we swoop in and buy multiple pairs. (For any other our-size barbies out there, we are talking $59, so go NOW).