Wednesday, January 24, 2007

WHY YOU ARE GAY: "The Hardy Boys"

Okay, let’s be honest. You LOVED the Hardy Boys. We don’t mean the books – we mean the boys themselves, Joe and Frank. They were studly, one was blond and the other one was a brunette, and they were perpetually 17 and 18 years old. They had girlfriends (remember Iola and Cassie?) with whom they never did anything but embrace fondly. They were smart, pretty, and under their ever-present Oxfords and crewneck sweaters, you always knew they had fantastic, creamy, firm and hairless torsos. With the kind of abs a pre-adolescent like you could gnaw on like a giant ear of corn.

You don’t think the authors had dirty thoughts like that in mind, you say? Can we take a moment to look at some of the titles we were faced with back then? The Bombay Boomerang? The Sting of the Scorpion? The Masked Monkey? The Secret of the Lost Tunnel???

The Urban Dictionary wishes it was so naughty!


Anonymous said...

I wanted Johnny Dixon (author: John Bellairs) as illustrated by Edward Gorey.

Frank said...

Know what was even gayer than reading The Hardy Boys? Reading The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew "Super Adventures"!

I could never get over the name "Iola." Looking back, it just screamed "fag hag"!

BTW, is the fact that I always thought Frank was hotter just because I share the same name narcissistic?

Blobby said...

I didn't care for the Hardy Boys. I DID like Parker Stevenson.

A Day Without Me said...

Actually, apparently the guy who wrote the Hardy Boys got really sick of it, and hated it, so some have speculated that he started putting in homoeroticism on purpose for shits and giggles.