Don’t You Like How We Tried To Elevate The Level Of Discourse In This Post By Using Art To Illustrate Our Point?

We just had a slightly appalling office moment. There's no divider between the two urinals in our bathroom and a co-worker, who we thankfully don't know, was using the one next to ours a few moments ago. He finished first, and though we SWEAR we were not peeking (this was an older portly man with a mustache, give us some credit), we think we saw him take the tucked-in tail of his shirt, WIPE OFF HIS PENIS, and then tuck the whole shebang back in his pants.

Is this accepted practice?? We've seen (out of the corner of our eyes!) all kinds of weird Shake It Out routines. There's the tug-a-tug-tug, the gentle repeated pull, the whaparound. The list goes on and on. But the shirtwipe? We nearly perished.